Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Love Affair

Very appropriately, I had an amazing thought on the flight the other day. It is my dream to be a stay-at-home mommy, and I am excited and eager to get married so I can. I love the idea of cooking healthy meals, cleaning the house, and doing lots of stimulating activities.

But look at what happened with Charles. I had my heart set on him, invested so much energy into him, and it fell through. Depending on love is not a very secure thing to do. If I get divorced, my dream of being a wife and mother is dashed.

So I need to turn it into a reality, not wait to be married. All of these plans I had to do for my family I need to do for myself.

I need to cook for myself, clean as if I am a worthy audience to appreciate it, and go to the stimulating events I would take my child to. Life is too valuable to wait for something that may or may not happen to begin it. And dreaming of being a housewife is a very achievable dream! Many people dream of being pilots, but they cant fly planes without years of study and lots of money. If I want to be domestic I can, it wont require any schooling or money, it only requires me to feel I am a worthy recipient of my efforts.

I want to be a mother and a doting wife, why not start by being a mother to myself and by doting on myself?

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