I spoke with Charles on the phone tonight. When I talk to him I just feel so good. Except lately, lately it has made me feel awful, like I have hurt the most wonderful human being on the planet.
I told him about it, and he said he didn't want me to feel bad. He really feels happy when he talks to me. You know how I fell for him when I met him? I said I only wanted to be friends, he said "OK." He melts me.
I loved talking to him today. How can I be without him? How can I live without him? I guess I have him, if we are friends, and his Visa has at least 2 years on it, so I don't have to live without him. How can I live without possessing him? How could I survive while another woman DARE speak to him? I won't say that I am tormented right now, because I am so happy after talking to him...yeah.
I want Charles, with the sex I have with Alan, with the Chemistry I have with my neighbor. I just want to die right now.
I am just too tired...just go to bed Diana.