I am really, really confused. I have had a strange week in regards to married men this week, especially today.
On superbowl sunday I got a call from a pilot. A really nice pilot who's personality I really like. He is very warm and down to earth. He commented when I met him that I was very "natural" (which I read to mean down to earth) and he felt a real connection with me. This guy is Jamaican, and I am not making excuses for him, I just am a little more open minded with people who arent American born, because often weirdness can actually be a cultural difference. When we exchanged numbers I was extra clear- this is totally a friendship thing right? I take marriage very seriously- he said absolutely. So I gave him my number.
It was still weird hearing from him. When I met him I was really into Buddhism so in his message he said he wanted to talk more about Buddhism, but when I brought it up on the phone he didn't have that much to say about it. I would love to be friends with this guy, but it just feels weird talking on the phone with a married man. It would be one thing if we started by having lunch at the airport and a friendship grew from that, but this, it just feels weird. He does seem trustworthy though, he is a very nice man. And on the phone, he actually said "Mon."
But that is nothing. Today I spent the day with marathon man. Yup, marathon man, from years ago. This is a guy who I went to 3 different states to cheer him on in marathons, while having no clue if we were actually dating. At the last marathon we ended up making out, with him creaming his pants. Well a week or so ago I get an e-mail from him saying "I will be 180 miles from your city next week" so I say "you should take a detour" which of course anyone would say, and he says "okay."
I had a really fun day. We went to a big mall, had italian food at a nice restaurant there, went to the museum I used to be a tour guide at, went to a coffee shop, had dinner at the greek restaurant that my roommate works at, and then went to a play in which a woman had sex with a bird. It was such a fun day, full of flirting and sexual tension, oh yeah, and marathon man is now married.
Yeah. And there was a lot of discussion of dating (Charles and Alan) and going over why things did or didn't work out with us, which I guess isn't as bad as I was thinking, now that I write it, because it could be seen as tying loose ends, evaluating the past relationship and moving on to the new one. But still, he is spending the day, and plenty of money, in a seperate city from his wife, with a woman who is not his wife.
Maybe I am just old fashioned. There was nothing naughty, just flirting. I still just find the whole thing weird. I wouldn't want my husband in his shoes, because what if the girl in my shoes doesn't have my scruples? Then the man is putty. I hate to admit to how lowly I think about men, but spending a day with a man where there is strong chemistry, I think the man can be seduced. So the answer is, don't let your husband spend the day with a woman with which he has strong chemistry in another city. And is she really letting him spend the day with a woman in another city, or does she think he is skiing for two days...yeah...the skiing.
I can't help but assume that he was hoping I was an unscrupulous woman, who would seduce his innocent self into doing something he didn't want to do, and about which he would feel so, so bad about afterward, but he just couldn't help himself. I will say in his defence however, that in the car at the end there was no lingering, it was "I had fun...okay bye" so that makes me feel better, I guess.
I still feel weird
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