Guess what everyone! I'm happy! I feel hopeful again! I feel like...myself!!! I feel that I can manage my life again :) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
What it took was cleaning. I made a promise to myself that I would give myself a wage for the work I did, and get to buy clothes with it, and I started cleaning. I started with the dishes, spread out to the counter, then the floor, and outward from there. I took some breaks, but I was so easy on myself that I actually was motivated to do more :)
I rearranged my room a little bit, I think that is a healthy thing to do, because it creates a new enviornment so I can start fresh.
I feel really relaxed and in control! YAAAAY!
BTW, I have been putting myself to sleep with stress relief hypnotism Mp3s downloaded from Limewire, I wonder if that helped? I am sure having the anti-depressants build up in my body helped too. But number one? I think is taking control of my enviornment, and creating a calming, not chaotic enviornment.