Saturday, March 31, 2007

Don't blame Jesus for the behavior of his followers

Jesus Christ I have had a weird day!

First thing today I had an easter egg decorating party at "Sweet-Stay-At-Home-Mommy's" house. I have been depressed for so many years, and finally I am not, so I decided to dress up for the party. I wore a cute poodle style skirt with flowers on it and a green top with a white tank top underneath it. I looked very cute. When I showed up I did not get an enthusiastic response. It was almost like she didn't like what I was wearing for some reason. It could be because I looked fat in it, it could be that it showed cleavage (and you DO know breasts are a sin) or, it could be that she didn't like me looking nice. That she preferres me looking sort of rough and run down, because it makes her feel superior.

As we were decorating the eggs she pushed me quite hard to eat one of them. SHE didn't eat any of them, of course, but I did give in and eat the first one. (the egg white anyway.) As an overweight girl, trying to lose weight, is it the most appropriate thing for a friend to PUSH me to eat outside of a meal, especially if she's not doing it too?

And then speaking of meals, for lunch she made dumpling soup. The soup was dumplings and carrots with italian spices. No chicken, no tofu, no protein source at all. So in the end we were eating ice cream, and my friend Carrie asked her if she wanted any more ice cream. She said "No, I had extra dumplings" and she ate the same amount of dumplings that Carrie and I ate. And its not like we asked her WHY she didn't want more ice cream, she just volunteered the information about what a large quantity she ate. The sad thing is I am no longer concerned about her eating anymore, just annoyed.

It's not like she eats a lot less and thats it. I have friends like that. She eats a lot less, and has some sort of superiority thing about it. She kept encouraging me to eat the eggs. I caved and ate one (I didn't even want it) and I swear the message in her pushing the eggs on me was "Your a pig who eats a ton, here, eat more. I wont eat more because I'm not a pig" I swear that was the subtext, and she does this all the time.

I left at 3 so I could go to the gym (which was closing at 5) I didn't tell her that. I don't know how much longer I can bear to deal with her. I don't know how much more I can handle her talking about the virtues of Jesus constantly. She has a tiny, miserable life she isn't happy in, and yet she holds onto the view that Jesus wants her life to be tiny, and that her lifestyle choices are far superior to all others.

I could go on about her, but I am finally away from there, why would I want to continue the unpleasantness. I have worked very hard to see the two of us as "different but equal" Its such an insult that she wont offer me the same respect. The only reason I stay her friend is she has a beautiful home schooled son, and I am his only exposure to the world outside the sanitized universe she invents for him.

So I left at 3, went to taco bell to get some protein before my workout, and went to the gym. I got my workout in, and as I was leaving this sort of freaky looking guy says "hey, are you leaving?" I said "Yeah" he says "I have something for you" so I said "okay" but as I thought about it I had seen this freaky looking guy before, and he gave me Christian literature more than once. He may have even bugged me at the grocery store before, and he may have been on flyers at the University for harrassing people.

Before he took more than 3 steps I said "wait is it some Christian stuff?" He said "Yeah" and I said "Then no thank you" and went to the locker room. When I came back out I said, with a very sweet voice "Thank you, have a good night" and he just stared straight ahead, seething. Another example of the joy that bringing Jesus in your life can offer.

Many people say this is what all Christians are like, and it's simply not true. A lot of Christians are really good people, who don't go to church to feel superior but to be inspired to be better people and to help the world. Unfortunately those pleasant and normal Christians are not as noticible as the ABSOLUTELY ANNOYING ones, who seem to really be in my face today.

Poor Jesus. A nice guy who was really into helping others, and wanted to spread this message about how good that is, and just look at the type of people who claim to be his followers. If I were him I would appear in the sky and say "Stop acting like assholes"

(Oh, and FYI, SSAHM told me about a vision she had where he came out of the clouds and said "this is how I will come")

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