Its 4:30 AM, and I am not nearly close to sleeping. As it is now, I could clean my room for all I care.
There are many reasons why I think it's happening, number one, I didn't eat enough today. I am cutting down on my eating, and since my appetite is less from stopping the risperdal, I hardly need to eat, and I am not eating as much as I should (today anyway.) Today I had a HUGE omelette, toast, coffee, and a hummus sandwich. The omelette could count as two meals, but I should have some snacks too. I would get something to eat, but it would wake up my roommate, who complained to Jennifer about me "stomping around and rattling dishes"
And that is another reason I think I am not sleeping, I just had a rotten day with Jennifer. She is completely impossible, and since she is not my roommate anymore, I really dont need to walk on egg-shells do I? I was thinking about how she was complaining about her friend being evil for calling her friend matthew "mean" then when I suggested she might not be evil Jen got mad at me, because she just wants to believe her friend is awful, my suggesting another angle was "defending her unacceptable behavior" and then later in the day Jennifer said that Matthew is mean. What a bunch of crazy.
I also feel really humiliated to learn that my roommate was upset about me not cashing checks soon enough. If she is mad at that, but doesnt show it, what else is she mad at? (one thing- she hates when I soak recyclables. She throws them from the sink, into the recycling, unwashed)
Then I am anxious because I posted a roommate ad, and its a lot of excitement. I am thinking I want a man, because I am so tired of women's bullshit (like not telling me they are mad, or being rediculously sensitive where you cant even try to cheer them up) but I am afraid if I live with a man I will either sleep with him, or want to sleep with him. Both would be bad. Maybe a gay man would be perfect- nah, they are the biggest bitches of them all!
I drank an energy drink at 4 today, I am sure that didnt help matters much. I want to SLEEP! AAAAH! I am supposed to show the apartment tomorrow!