Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Too much to write and too little time to sleep

Last night I had a two and a half hour conversation with MacDuff -which by the way is a name from some smart-people book, I was hoping it was the crime fighting dog :(

As is my pattern, I moved WAY too fast, talking about MUCH too serious things, (I am terrible with small talk in these situations) but I still got farther along than ever. He seems like he'd be really compatible with alot of the stuff in my life right now, and I am relaxing a bit. He asked me to "go steady" I said no, which is really good because hello its WAY too soon. My heart doesn't feel 100% gung ho even though my head says he would work out real well. -but again, that could be because he could be good for me.

Today I got an e-mail from someone else who I had contacted before quitting the personals site. We will call him BK- (like the shoes in the 90's) Reading his e-mail he sounded really great! I smiled and felt relaxed reading it. I don't know much about him yet, but he seems (on first impression) like a normal guy, and MacDuff certianly has issues (many of the same issues I do.) MacDuff is actively taking on his issues (as am I) What would be better? A person with no issues or someone with issues, who is working on them, who you could relate more with? (Pretty quick to say since I have only read one thing from BK, and just met MacDuff) I can say though I want to be patient and give feelings time to develop before deciding about MacDuff, I can sense that he is very similar to me, is that good? Maybe.

I can say that this addresses the question, who should I find someone for, the person I am or the person I want to be?

mood: ok


Anonymous said...

But you're both right now.

Find the person who makes you laugh. The one who makes you blush, and treats you both like the woman you are / want to be. Don't be fooled by fireworks - sometimes fireworks too soon lead to bad consequences. Instead of fireworks, look for giggles and "this is really fucking cool - I can't stop thinking about him." That's what is a good indicator of something that has a good chance of lasting. It doesn't matter if they are the same or different; it all comes down to how the person treats you. Neuroses and all; good with the bad.

Satan said...

I didn't think you were going steady with anyone, there's no question and no decision to make. Maybe a ahead of yourself a little.

I think the title of the post says it all. Sleep!

Diana Crabtree said...

Thanks Stacy :)

I can say this much, I have been giggling a lot, he has made me blush a few times, and makes me feel like I already am the woman I want to be (it's hard to not correct him- but I do say "staaaaaaaaaahp" a lot)

And I am thinking about him a lot, but not too much, and I like that. And he is giving me space and is being patient, even if we both are moving TOOOOO fast.

Wow. Your advice is really making him seem pretty good :)

Diana Crabtree said...

Satan. You just, uh. Any time I am mental I SWEAR you say EXACTLY the thing I need to hear :)

I still have difficulty with dating more than one person (maybe because I move too fast) but you are SOOOOOO right, it is too soon to have to make a choice, so I should feel no guilt for not wanting to.

In 20 years someone will ask me, "Why are you so successful?" and I will say "It is because of my faith...in Satan" ;)