Last night I had a two and a half hour conversation with MacDuff -which by the way is a name from some smart-people book, I was hoping it was the crime fighting dog :(
As is my pattern, I moved WAY too fast, talking about MUCH too serious things, (I am terrible with small talk in these situations) but I still got farther along than ever. He seems like he'd be really compatible with alot of the stuff in my life right now, and I am relaxing a bit. He asked me to "go steady" I said no, which is really good because hello its WAY too soon. My heart doesn't feel 100% gung ho even though my head says he would work out real well. -but again, that could be because he could be good for me.
Today I got an e-mail from someone else who I had contacted before quitting the personals site. We will call him BK- (like the shoes in the 90's) Reading his e-mail he sounded really great! I smiled and felt relaxed reading it. I don't know much about him yet, but he seems (on first impression) like a normal guy, and MacDuff certianly has issues (many of the same issues I do.) MacDuff is actively taking on his issues (as am I) What would be better? A person with no issues or someone with issues, who is working on them, who you could relate more with? (Pretty quick to say since I have only read one thing from BK, and just met MacDuff) I can say though I want to be patient and give feelings time to develop before deciding about MacDuff, I can sense that he is very similar to me, is that good? Maybe.
I can say that this addresses the question, who should I find someone for, the person I am or the person I want to be?