Whew! I have had quite the emotional week. I have fortunately used my anxious energy and channeled it into getting the things done (associating doing=anxiety relief instead of my bad unhealthy pattern of associating doing=anxiety)
My aunt called me back with the sweetest message saying how proud she is of me. I think she really understood what I was trying to tell her (that I am improving.) Her kind reassuring voice was so soothing. I know I am very lucky to have her, some people with both parents don't have someone like that.
I also got to talk to Carrie and she is upset that I can't make the groom's dinner but she forgives me. I still just want to die because of it, but maybe I can try to get someone to pick the day up so I can go there. At least she doesn't hate me.
I got the house reasonably picked up. I would like it cleaner but at least my concience is clear. All I have to do now is figure out how to have both roommate's rent in the bank before the check clears, and get rid of some couches. I feel much better, and quite proud of how much I have done, but I still feel really hurt that I can't be at my aunt's party.
Hopefully when the wedding is over I will feel calmer :)
MMMM and I ate a gonoche (I think) today. Thats like a cupcake with crap inside of it because a cupcake is not decadant enough as it is ;)
mood: very sad :( (but not depressed)