I came to the conclusion that I can no longer date people that feel "on my level." The reason is is because I have low self-esteem, so if I am dating someone "on my level" I am going to end up with the biggest losers on the planet.
I remember I had noticed this when I was on the dating site, MacDuff seemed "at my level" but BK seemed like the kind of guy I would want to end up with. Well I am hella healthier than MacDuff, no question (he revealed that to me very quickly) so that validates my hypothesis that I need to pick the one that I would want to end up with, even though I feel like they are too good for me. Perhaps "too good for me" is at my actual level :)
I have a coffee date with BK thursday. My challenge now is to convince myself that I am good enough for him, behave as if I am, and hope that we like each other (and if we don't, not see it as a failure on my part.) He seems very respectful of boundaries, we spoke for an hour or so tonight and it remained on a small-talk get to know you level. This will be good for me.
mood: ready for bed