Saturday, October 08, 2005

My range of emotions

Begun at 7:28PM

"I don't want to do this personals site anymore, I guess I should stop.

There is a new person who I have e-mailed a few times, and he seems sweet, smart, and creative, but he already seems annoying.

I don't know if I am a chicken shit or if I just- UH! I can't deal with this.

I don't want him, I want a ready-made. I want to fast forward 5 years and get past the early stuff. I don't know why this is so upsetting to me. Is it finding out I'm not the sexy girl I used to be? Maybe. I have been thinking about my fucking weight for the last week. I..."

Now, a few hours later, I have gotten my head together. I haven't felt this bad about myself for months, so why do it? I have benefited from the opportunity to look at myself, but beyond that it's not helping.

Okay good, its done. Blech. Let's move on, shall we?

mood: Muuuuuuuuuuch better.

1 comment:

peppylady said...

Hi, your blogger was right after mine. I even wonder at time about my mental state. I don't have any desire to fast forward in my life I would be 50 going on 51.