It’s BAAAACK! I am a religious lunatic again.
I decided, spur of the moment, to go to the credit union to ask why I had recieved no notice on a credit card application. The woman I spoke to said It was rejected due to past credit history, and I said “Ok, what is the next step? I have no debt but my student loans, which are paid on time, so I am interested in learning about a secured card since that was rejected, so I can improve my credit.” She looked at my info and said that if I reapply she would approve it. !!!!!!
I went down to the train and realized I didn’t have the cash for a ticket, so I had to go back to the bank. I got some cash and stopped at the convenience store fo a changemaker. I chit-chatted with the woman at the counter as usual, and then a conversation started.
Her name is Lily. We had talked about graditude, and the things that really matter in life and how lucky we both feel whenever we have the opportunity to help someone. She told me a story. She works at the airport and takes her lunch breaks on the third floor. She met an Ethiopian girl who was very friendly, but Lily could tell something was wrong. She saw this girl there every day for 5 days, and on the 5th day she was crying. It turns out this girl’s brother said he didn’t want to have anything to do with her, and she had nowhere to go (I can’t imagine she would be able to afford a ticket back to Ethiopia- and can you imagine being a girl alone with nowhere to go, in a foriegn country?)
Lily, a poor immigrant, someone you might imagine being a RECIEVER of charity, took this girl in! Lily has 3 kids. (I have to hold back tears right now writing this, I am in public.) I, with more resources and less responsibilities, would have taken her to the police, or maybe made a phonecall or two on her behalf, but Lily took her in! She says she has 4 kids now.
I had mentioned how most of the giving I do is for selfish reasons, I sponsered Hosna as a birthday present to myself. It makes me feel so happy. She lit up. She agreed, she values the opportunity to help this young woman.
The fanatisism hadn’t left me, it was just toned down. if something is just a fad you keep it at high intensity so you fool yourself that you are serious about it. If you love something set it free, if it doesn’t come back it was never yours. So much I have been reading about has been about being mindful. I may not have been drunk on spiritual bliss like I was a few weeks ago, but I have been more mindful, I have observed and acknowledged some habit energies, and have been doing a mindfulness meditation during take offs (no, I don’t have my eyes closed with my legs crossed and my hands up, and no, I do not chant “Om” in front of all the passengers. i do it in my brace position staring straight ahead- in fact, it makes me a better flight attendant, because I am focused on the sounds, so i will notice quicker if something is wrong)
I plan to see Lily again tomorrow. I got her a grocery store gift card. Part of it is a thank you, she uplifted me so much for what she did. And also, I may not be willing to take in a homeless girl from the other side of the globe, but I want in on the fun too ;)
mood: no longer spiritually drunk, more like spiritually buzzed ;)