Saturday, September 10, 2005

I've let you down- I am sorry

Someone was kind enough to point the following out:

....................................................................................

Diana:

I recently came upon your blog, and really like it. Coincidentally, however, this post came on the heels of a piece I wrote the other day concerning the "polltics" of commenting.

Although I can certainly understand how one might not have the energy or time to comment to/visit other blogs, I have noticed something interesting in the short time I've been reading (and commenting) to your posts.

You and ****** seem to have an IM style banter going on. When he makes a little quip, you unerringly respond. Sometimes these have the effect, to my mind, of almost trivializing an otherwise serious post.

Conversely, I notice that others--not just myself--who take the time to compose a detailed, thought out reply are sometimes simply ignored.

Perhaps I am too sensitive, but if I feel I am being excluded from a commenter clique, I will hesitate long and hard before visiting or commenting again.

Just my observation, for what it's worth.

....................................................................................

I am sorry to any and all of you who have felt the same way, now that my attention has been drawn to it I can't help but wonder how many readers I could have lost if I don't change this.

I appreciate constructive critisism alot, I look at it as telling someone they have spinach in their teeth. If your intention is to hurt my feelings (or spam) well of course I will delete your comment, but this is rare since most people have better things to do. Please don't worry about hurting my feelings (it's easy- I'm sensitive) as long as you are coming from a good place- and feel free to e-mail if you don't want to air your feelingsublicly.

Sort of the point of the "thank you" post was an apology for being unable to give as much as I take. The above comment really helped me to do a better job of it.

I also appreciate the suggestion I recieved from one of you of setting up "Bloglines." Please allow ATOM/RSS feed in your Blogger settings, that can make things easier for me. (even though continuing to post decipherable journal entries remains my first online goal)

Thanks Again! I don't ever expect you to read- thats why it means so much that you do.

mood: appreciative, rested

15 comments:

Satan said...

Wouldn't want a little quip to ruin your serious blog and lighten you mood. How inconsiderate of me!

Diana Crabtree said...

The Buddha said that suffering is needed to reach enlightenment.

When you comment I am happy, and then I don't have suffering to transform into enlightenment, so yes, it is indeed inconsiderate of you.

Because I care about you I will make you suffer for it.

Satan said...

Oh, so your blog is enlightenment now?

Satan said...

I don't make you happy BTW, I see your suffering and through mutual conversation you find happiness within yourself.

...or aren't you up to that page in you beginners guide to buddhism?

Diana Crabtree said...

I don't consider my blog enlightenment- thats a goal.

The four noble truths are suffering, cause of suffering, cessation of cause of suffering, and the eightfold path.

You ruin my opportunity to discover enlightenment, because by cheering me up when I am down, I don't have suffering the first step.

In Buddhism you are called Mara.

Mara said...

Do you think that maybe there is a lesson to be learnt it the act of gaining happiness, however transient. I wouldn't want to be considered an active part in someones life and their lessons... only a nuisance.

Diana Crabtree said...

Wrong...you make me happy

Satan said...

The last sentance was be sarcastic. I know that you feel happy when I post... why... isn't that a lesson on your road to enlightenment.

Satan said...

Fine... if you've gone to bed in the middle of this conversation...

I will hesitate long and hard before visiting or commenting again.

PS. there is no commenter clique here only two people who were understanding each other and getting along. If you don't feel you are getting enough attention from the 'famous' Diana just keep commenting. It's not that hard.

elvira black said...

Diana:

Thanks so much. I am really sorry if I upset you in any way. As I've noted in today's post, a lot of it was just residual anger from a personal matter that leeched into my blog. And I also failed to put myself in other's shoes, so to speak.

Satan: Ummm....no comment!

Diana Crabtree said...

SATAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

First off yes I realize that you do not "make" me happy, you remind me of the things that bring me to the place of who and what I genuinely am, and then I feel happy.

I worded my response the way I did to tell you (and illustrate) how much you do for me, while still giving you shit.

That said please recognize what a favor the reader/commenter did for me by sharing her perception of the situation. Yes, her perception that you and I intentionally exclude people was incorrect, but by telling me about it, I was able to see that this reading of the situation is out there, most people would just not go back.

And, please keep in mind, the people who are attracted to my blog will often be people who deal with mental health challenges as well. I know how it feels to be oversensitive (I told you about the time my roommate said "I don't know" didn't I? God she was a bitch!) Yes, it is the job for us oversensitive people to RECOGNIZE when we are being oversensitive and deal with it, but it can be hard to do, you have to listen to your feeling and then weigh the evidence to see if this feeling is accurate or not. If I am to get pissed off at her for pointing out her read of the situation, I just validated that inaccurate feeling that I am an exclusive type of person.

And she did point out something true- there is no real need to post in the comments section things that arent partially relevant to the post. This conversation was perfectly appropriate, you responded to the posts and we responded back and forth, but I can say I honestly sometimes write just anything, becuase I want to talk to you, not because I want to discuss the post.

I agree with you that humor is a good thing, I am not sure one way or another that this is what she meant about "trivializing" I am glad to have had the opportunity to examine the use of humor, whether that was the original intention or not, becuase it helps me see how benificial it is :)

Diana Crabtree said...

Elvira-

I was writing the last comment as you posted yours. Thanks for apoligizing, and for writing what you wrote in the first place. It drew my attention to some things, and for now on I am going to work harder to respond to all of the comments, and I plan to keep the discussion in the comments section relatively on-topic (or at least have them begin there)

BTW, don't disregard Satan- he is one of the smartest, funniest, most caring people I have ever run across. He values a sense of humor and regularly tests people to see if they can take a joke- I'm still hoping one day I'll pass!

With appreciation,
Diana

Not Satan said...

*shrugs*

Thanks for everything - Enjoy your pristine commenting environment.

Henry said...

I always knew Satan was good for something.

:-)

Idony said...

Oh deary me! I hesitate on commenting on others' blogs because somehow I always manage to make it about me.

See? I did it again.

I guess that is just the way I relate, but I'm so darned selfconscious about it, it keeps me from making friends of the chit-chat variety.