Monday, September 26, 2005


For the record, I have cramps right now. I am feeling anxious but am doing a good job of keeping my mind while my emotions aren’t where they should be.

I have a gut feeling that it is time to begin the plan for my future. The mainline carrier that my airline is contracted with has filed for bankruptcy this year, has missed a 22 million dollar payment to my carrier, and if it misses the payment on the 17th then my airline can file for bankruptcy too.

If you haven’t gathered this from my earlier posts, I work for what I call “the Wal-mart of Airlines” My starting pay was 14,000 a year. I now make around 20,000. The pilots start around 21,000. I assume you can see with this number alone that this airline is not one that cuts fat, it cuts muscle. I have seen ugliness from this airline that made me sick to my stomach. I do not look forward to the contract negotiations with the pilots or the flight attendants, whether or not it files for bankruptcy. Strikes are an expectation.

I had made the decision to remain here because it has part time available. The part-time option allows me to persue another career in the future, I am sensing that it is time to start on my new career plan now, becuase I imagine sometime in the near future the company will give me the option of being part time or laid off, and I want to have all of my ducks in a row when this happens.

It is amazing to me that just yesterday I examined my dreams for my future and flying was not included (not that it was excluded or intentionally not included.) My dream since high-school was to be a physical therapist, but I notice I did not include that in my future plan. What I did include was massage therapy, a healing modality used in physical therapy, and with many of the blessings (and minus the headaches) of flying. And here I am the next day, feeling it is time to begin the process.

The first step I think is to get a condo. I won’t be approved while in school, or if I am forced to go part time, so I need to start that ball rolling now. The good news is I am already connected to a morgage broker, she has an application in the mail, so the process has in a way begun already.

Another important step is I must find out what insurance is available to me through the school and the state, because I this risperdal could be my saving grace, it could be what gets me through the transition, and through school.

And of course, how will I pay? I must have that planned.

Fortunately, I have some college already, so I may not have as much to pay for.

I am officially feeling anxious now, so I am going to stop writing about this. I can see it is time to start, and so I should feel NOT anxious, becuase I know I am on top of things,


mood: anxious

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