Monday, April 23, 2007

Another successful day?

Yesterday was a success I have decided. I got a lot accomplished, and with very little anxiety. But I need to continue. I have a lot to accomplish.

A month or so ago I was so happy, this happiness attracted attention, and then I was even happier. That happiness was a result of getting my room really clean, if I continue to clean and can get to that level of clean again, I predict my mood will be very good. I want to make that a goal for these days off (I especially want my room to be clean when I return from Uganda)

It's nearly two and I haven't started yet. I feel really weird, I think it's because I drank one of those "enviga" drinks. I bought it because it was the cheapest of all the energy drinks, but what I didn't think of is based on what they advertise, it is basically like drinking a diet pill. I know from experience that diet pills are terrible for mental health, so I am not sure if I should drink them. I bought 6 of them with the intention of having them by my bed so I could get up earlier, I am not sure how I will use them.

Right now I am watching the Montel Williams show discussing Cho Sung-Hui. I am still so facinated. I think understanding him can help us understand aspects of our culture. One thing that was interesting to me was reading about an albino rapper who noticed that white kids picked on him in the cruelest ways, they would say "your mom didn't want you" "you are a freak" really dehumanizing things, but the black kids would say "come on Casper, lets go" teasing, but still treating him like a human. I guess people would entertain themselves by trying to get this Cho guy to talk. He was so shy that he wouldn't even respond if you said hi to him, but they would still pick on him like that, the most defenseless kid possible. I hope that a dialogue about bullying continues in the US.

Okay, enough about that. The show is almost over, I have to get my focus back. I owe myself to have a clean house. I deserve to be happy. I deserve a clean house. I am perfectly cabable of doing this...ugh!

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