Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The Virginia Tech Shootings, Mental Illness, Fear

A strange loner with an obsession with Jesus, known for harrassing girls. Sounds familiar to me, ewwwww.

I told a story last month about a guy trying to give me Jesus literature. I have seen him a number of times, he has given me Jesus literature before, he had this long face with sunken cheeks and large strange eyes. After thinking about it that day, I remembered a strange experience in the grocery store, where a man with a strange long sunken face came up to me, stood in my personal space, and started talking to me. (I can't remember, but I may have asked him to not stand in my personal space, again, I don't remember)

I remember months later walking through the University library, and seeing a warning posted on the door with a picture of this same man with a long face and sunken in cheeks. He had been harrassing campus girls, I felt shaken about my experience with him, and grateful it didn't lead to more.

So after seeing this killer, and seeing that he had many warning signs, suddenly the guy I met, who's face turned blank when I rejected his literature, seems like more than an oddball. He doesn't have an eccentric vibe. He has a heavy vibe.

I haven't seen the long faced man at my gym since that night. I am not going to be afraid to go there, even if he's there, but I have to be honest when I say that I feel some genuine fear thinking about him. There are people like this Cho, who have fallen through society's safety net (not even to protect the public, but to protect the severely mentally ill) and I feel like I can say confidently that the long faced man is one of them.

Wow, what I am feeling right now is real, it's not paranoia. That's just awful.

*Afterthought* I think I might have a nightmare tonight. I had security training class at work today also. That is a lot of anxiety for one day.

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