I spoke to Charles on the phone tonight. Apparently he returned home to learn his stuff was in storage, the owner of the townhouse was in a lease to own situation, and apparently couldn't afford the morgage payments when they began. I guess they didn't bother to tell him until he called to tell them he would arrive.
And his car has broken down too, someone was supposed to come fix it, but left him sitting at his house all day and then rescheduled.
And his voice, it was so low and quiet. Was I going to go to see him and just add to everything that he has lost his girlfriend too? I was going to call him back to get directions, and I decided to check up on his state of mind. I said "you've had such a rough day, are you sure you are up to an arguement?" he responded "do we have to argue?" (as if after 3 weeks of being blown off, with 5 months of little communication I would be in a hurry to hang out with him, expecting nothing) Of course when he said that I said "Yes, we do." We postponed the meeting for thursday which sucks, because I have a date tomorrow with Alan, and what kind of impression does it make for a girl to have a boyfriend in the first place, but then to have postponed the breakup for another day, it makes me look like I am two-timing Charles.
In a way I am cheating on him, we havent yet broken up, yet I am talking on the phone with a boy, even hanging out with him, in hopes to one day be more than friends. I can live with myself though, I'm not trying to have two relationships at once, Charles and I have had no relationship, and when I made an effort to invest in it, he just blew me off. We would have broken up a month ago but he wasn't here for me to do it in person, and thats what you are supposed to do, right? Your not supposed to break up over e-mail or the phone, right?
I don't feel (very) guilty, I really tried to make it work with him, and I came up against a brick wall. I have to believe that this is a cultural thing, because who blows off their girlfriend, doesn't speak to her for 3 weeks, doesn't even tell her when he will return home, and actually thinks that she will want to hang out with him without arguing? No one could be THAT clueless!
I just want to get this over with!