I thought I should be happy the paper is done, but the presentation is the really serious part!
The presentation should be the same as we would behave on a tour. I feel prepared to spout off info about the piece, I DO NOT feel prepared to go through the process involved in a tour (it's supposed to be a dialogue, not a lecture, so I will have to think on my feet! NOOOO!)
I really am quite terrified. I feel fortunate to have this "personal" journal. It is helping me to put the feelings I am having into a form of some sort, instead of just hanging there, in my chest, choking me.
I am going to go to the coffee shop and get a cappucino and a cinnimon chip scone. It is an unhealthy choice to use food as a reward and it is an unhealthy choice to use food to cope with stress, but I really am craving a cinnimon chip scone, and I have promised myself ALOT these few weeks "Don't eat that now, because you aren't craving that specific thing, when you DO crave that specific thing you may have it" Maybe my craving is rooted in stress and maybe I am allowing it as a reward, but I am going to eat it and I am going to enjoy it damn it!
When I come back I will do some visualizing of the presentation going very well, and I will make a plan.
Oh man I dread this. Right now I am questioning my commitment. I MUST begin my graduation tour much sooner than I started this paper!!!
mood: tired, anxious, hungry