Sunday, April 17, 2005

I feel better...why?

At 3:00 today I was just seething. Really angry. It's
been hard for me to figure out whats going on.

I just ate a large portion of not-fried
chinese-american food and had a large frozen yogurt
cone, and the anger is better.

This means one of 2 things was going on. One, maybe I
haven't had enough calories, my moods were very
consistant with having low blood sugar. Now perhaps I
have replenished my glucose, and thats why I feel
alright with the world.

The other alternative is this anger is a step towards
my growth. Maybe it is one of the layers being exposed
as the other layers of dysfunction are being peeled
away. If this is what is going on, I have just
effectively self-medicated with food.

The verdict I have, since I do not know what the
reason for my angry mood this trip and the reason it
has been quelled now, is that I need to closely
monitor my food intake, make sure it is a healthy
level, not too little, not too much, and healthy types
of food, so I can create a baseline of my moods
without the influence of food negative or positive.

I must also keep close monitor of my moods every few
hours. It is much easier to notice great or awful
moods than it is to notice calm, uneventful moods.

mood: hella better!

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