I am in a good place right now.
I just went on a date with someone from online personals, and we really clicked. The date was sort of ending and he said he was debating whether to walk around the lake since it was so nice out. I walked with him partway and then we ended up walking around the whole lake. It was like we were from the same mind. Problem was, when he saw me, he didn't seem pleased with what he saw.
I was so annoyed by that, I found him absolutely adorable, but a little preppy, (I felt out of my league I hate to admit) and so as usual I was ready to accept my fate. After a half hour or so I suggested we wrap it up so he didn't get stuck in the rain. He declined and we continued to talk. And he also was the one who sort of extended it out after the fact, into a lake walk.
So it was a pleasant evening, we even talked about sex, but the evening was very platonic. (I did notice him looking at my breasts a few times though.- but it's not like that means anything coming from a man) I am not ready to give up on him yet, but I take my gut instinct seriously and am not going to let myself get lost in romantic fantasies that there is something there that might not be.
In the end though, I just know I am in a good place. A little of my insecurity showed itself, so I will need to work on that, but all in all I held my own. Ugh, yeah, he wasn't interested in that way I think. And I wasn't interested in that way either, but that is only because he wasn't interested, if he was interested I would think he is hot.
Waaah, now I wish he was attracted to me, he was just right. I guess when I make the choice of not being on weight watchers, I am making the choice that some people will not be attracted to me. That's the choice I make. Speaking of making choices, meeting him really solidified it for me that I made the right choice breaking up with Charles. Were just from different worlds. Waah
Afterthought: You know, looking at my picture on the personals site, he knew I was fat. Maybe with my hair back I don't look as cute, but knowing this I feel a little more confident. And when asking if my shoes were ok to go down a hill, I said yes, I chose these instead of my cute ones so I could walk, and then he complimented the ones I was wearing. Mixed signals. I am not going to get my hopes up, but I am not going to rule it out as a possibility.