So what should I do?
Him and I have a little history. He liked me and we started IMing (for like half a day) and then he didn't write back to me and that was the end. I remember that I said some pretty dorky things throughout the short time we interacted, and that was the end of that. After awhile I sort of started hating him. He acted aloof (I dont remember why I hated him) I do remember him telling me he was from the military and bad with girls, and I remember him proving to me that he is bad with girls by commenting that I was wearing a sweater, and that he remembered an old shirt I used to wear he could see down when I groomed the plane- oh yeah! Thats probably why I hated him.
But I heard a rumor that he just had a baby, and that softened me up. Also what softened me up is I saw I had to fly with him, and so I waved at him when I saw him, usually I just pretend I didn't see him, or that he doesn't exist.
So first thing when he walked onto the plane I had an opening line to break the awkwardness "I heard a rumor about you" he said "oh yeah?" and I said "I heard you had a baby" I asked if he had a picture to show me and he said yeah. A few minutes later, without me prompting, he brought his camera to me and started showing me pictures. The baby was beautiful, but nothing compared to the way this guy beamed. The pictures of him with his baby were SO HOT! He was so soft and it is so apparent that he is totally in love with that child. He mentioned that his wife and him are seperating, which makes me sick since the baby looks less than one year old! Welcome to the Airlines.
So tomorrow we are going to chinatown!!! That sounds like so much fun! I never do fun things on an overnight! I just know, by the way he asked me if I was buying the first round of drinks on the overnight that he plans to go in for the kill. (I learned this behavior from the pilot I kissed- it's all premeditated at the beginning of the trip)
So, bringing up the first pilot I kissed on a flight, I learned some lessons from that. One, it was completely awkward the next day. Not just awkward, mental torture. Two, when I found out that dork of a captian kissed many flight attendants, I felt so embarrassed, like this dork has enough game to get me to make out with him, and I am supposedly "different" than most girls. And three, how did I learn that he kisses a lot of flight attendants? Because I was TELLING SOMEONE I kissed him. So if I talked, likely they all talk. (But, if I don't put out, then what do they talk about?) That was the most important lesson I learned, DONT HAVE SEX! That is just too intimate with someone at work. If I am dating them fine, but not on an overnight.
And one thing I realized tonight, when I was thinking about how much I hate this Captain, what is intense hate, when it doesn't match the circumstances? (yeah he said he could see down my shirt, but in a clueless boy way, not in a way intended to make me uncomfortable) so what does it sometimes mean when you find someone repellant with great intensity? That it is actually attraction, covered up.
I do like staring at his face. His ethnic background is half indian half chinese, and he looks a lot like Tony Kanal from no doubt. He has bad skin and is short. And he is so stiff. And yet I am so facinated by his face. When he talks, about whatever dumb thing he talks about, I just look, in awe, like hypnotized. It really makes no sense why I am so drawn to him.
What does make sense is why I find him repellant. He is Republican from what I remember, he is from Texas and drives an SUV. Yuck. But somehow he is Buddhist. They make Republican Military Buddhists? Who knew.
So the decision hasn't been made yet, but I feel like I know the answer. Of course I will make out with him. As if I can resist making out with someone when I have the chance. I can resist if I (or they) have a partner, but if everything is on the ethical up and up, I can't control myself. It's like saying no to a free chocolate cupcake with sprinkles on it. You wouldn't actually turn that down would you? Maybe you would turn down the whole cake (you know what I'm saying) but what harm is one little cupcake going to do? But then again, I can resist someone when I have the chance, I resisted sexy cowboy swagger pilot, (but maybe I sensed that he had a girlfriend, which I learned, he did)
I'll tell you how it goes!
Oh fuck! I cant let him near my boobs because they leak, and I dont feel like explaining! But having a clothes-on rule could keep that issue from happening... (but what fun is that?)