This afternoon when I saw the F/O, who I really like, I said "Hey! Were going to chinatown tonight!" and he said "I'm not going with him" (the captain) he said "he is fucking nuts!" Yup, if I am attracted to a guy, he is probably nuts.
And he turned out to be, yup, nuts. Fortunately the F/O was sweet enough to come with (when I pointed out it would be like a date if he didn't come, he caved, what a sweety) Yeah, so the repellant feeling I felt had to do with physical attraction, but it also had to do with, um, him being repellant!
He talked about getting in trouble at work because his girlfriend's husband called his boss. He talked about drinking and driving. He talked about shooting Hmong people. He talked about getting arrested a number of times. The guy is as bad news as you can get!
I am so tired, I walked around chinatown all day. I just think it's funny that after I know how disgusting he is, when I sense him looking at me or when he touched me (getting change) I get physically aroused. I wonder if it's the "bad boy" thing. But hes not a bad boy, he's a loose cannon.
The thing about mental health is, when you are mentally unhealthy, you cant recognize mentally unhealthy people as well, because it is normal to feel not-at-ease. As I have grown healthier I notice that when I am around mentally unstable people I feel very uncomfortable, and I see them as the problem, not me.
Side note. The chinatown has jelly candy not legal in the US anymore because it chokes kids. It is so yummy, the texture of it is like a french kiss, literally, It is very erotic candy. I got a tub of it.