Someone I love died and has been resurrected.
He was my favorite person as a little girl, my hero. He always entertained me with science, art, and jokes.
Over time life's problems got to be too hard on him he began to drink "to relax" and he started to disappear. He shrunk and shrunk and a new person got bigger and bigger. I didn't know this new person, and we didn't like each other.
I kept communicating with his shell, but he was totally gone. Eventually the pain of seeing his body with a stranger's personality became too painful to me and I avoided his shell all together.
It usually takes me 2 weeks to recover after I see his shell. My mom is dead too, but it is easier to accept a parent is dead when they are in a grave. Every time I see his shell and try to talk to it the pain is too much. I forget now and then and say something to "him" but the new person who has possessed his body responds, as if to say "He is dead. You will never see him again, only the shell he once lived in."
Last week my Grandma invited me to Easter dinner. I reluctantly accepted, but as days passed the anxiety got stronger and stronger. I am too worn out right now, I don't have it in me to face the shell. I called and cancelled, leaving out the fact that what I don't have the energy for is the grieving.
HE called back. Not the shell, him! It was like the voice of a ghost! When we spoke to each other the words got through. We sincerely laughed at each others jokes. I called back an hour later, I missed him so much and now I could see him!
When I showed up it was better than I could imagine. He showed me the gadgets he was tinkering with. He showed me some photography he was doing. He showed me pictures of his friends. He wasn't seething and defensive. He wasn't anxious and spacey. IT WAS HIM! BACK TO LIFE!
This was the best day I have had in years. I know my mom will never come back, and I had finally accepted that my dad would not either. I am going to enjoy this as long as I can, and I will hope that the other person doesn't convince him to stop taking the medication so it can take over his body again. God I missed my daddy!