Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Love Letter to SpiderSolitaire part 2

Here are the ground rules I am setting, to protect myself:

You must be a "Healthy" person.
-a healthy person sees themself as a survivor not a victim
-a healthy person makes choices that make themself healthier, not sicker
(medication & counseling are MUSTS)
-a healthy person does not take from other people without also giving back (and vice versa!)

You must respect my time.
-I have limited energy, and must focus it on my own growth and my own life, I ask that we keep our communication mostly on the blog- except in a crisis.
-I have limited time, I ask that you understand that I am gone 3-5 days a week and only sometimes have computer access. I can only promise to "be there" much of the time

Please respect the pain that alcohol and drug abusers have inflicted in my life
-It is a tiny gesture, but it means the world to me if you will post every time you drink or take a non-prescribed drug with the following
-what and how much
-why
-is it a healthy choice or not
-if you do this, it just calms my nerves that you are paying attention to your drug/alcohol intake. It also tells me you respect the pain I feel regarding drug/alcohol use/abuse

Please write a list of ground rules for me too okay? I hope you are aware that I have work to do in establishing healthy boudaries too, so its important that you ask yourself what lines I may not cross. It's okay (actually I hope you do) if you demand things like "you may not touch me without my permission" because it sounds like common sense, but look how I was with batman, I had my boundary (no sleeping in my room on first date) but I let him cross it because I didn't establish firm boundaries.

1 comment:

SpiderSolitaire said...

I have no boundaries. I am starting from scratch, but I will give this a shot.
1. I ask you understand times is hard to come by here as well at times. Being a mother can be very demanding. But, I hope to be there as much as possible.
2. I am very, very freakish about privacy. If something is private it is to be kept private. I would kill someone for reading my diary w/o permission. So, there's a rule (is that a boundary?)
3. I don't accept criticsm very well, please bare with me, and be as nice as possible with it.
4. Please be understand before my meds kick in, I may be a wave to ride. I apologize. I just ask you take everything with a grain of salt.
I hope these are boundaries. I'm not sure. But they are things I ask, so I hope that counts for something :)