This morning was just great. I put on Dee-lite, sang out loud and danced like a drag queen.
Why so happy? In writing a post earlier this morning I discovered a big challenge that I have, which increased my excitement for the future even more! I danced around, did some housework, surfed a bit, and had a relatively pleasant afternoon. I felt like "This is the best I have felt in 3 years" I was so happy to finally be happy.
Every rollercoaster begins with a steady rise to the top. You reach the peak and stop for a moment, and you see a beautiful view. You have the whole world at your feet. Then the ride begins.
I felt like since I am happy and energetic now, I can finally get things done. My goals? Clean the house, do the dishes & laundry, file the box of papers, get my taxes done, research my tour at the museum, get my uniform altered, call my friends, backup the weblog, workout, and take out the garbage. After that was done I could rent a few movies. These weren't literally my goals but (as I VERY OFTEN want to do) I wanted to at least get the house cleaned before my roommate Emma got home.
What did I get done? I stripped my bed and did a load of dishes. I started to feel tired, like REALLY heavy, and so I put in a movie and sat down. I couldn't focus on the movie, (perhaps it wasn't very good) and so I figured since I was getting healthyer now I am getting bored of being indoors so I brought out my beloved bike.
My bike is my baby, I love her more than I love...lots of stuff. I was so pleased to be out riding that I pedaled nearly the entire time, with little coasting, even though it was my first time on since last fall. The ride lasted a half hour or so and felt wonderful. When I got home I went to blockbuster to swap movies and I had a dizzy moment.
My old roommate Shane came over to use the computer, I popped in a movie and the weirdest things started happening! I was gleeful one moment, and 10 seconds later felt angry! 10 seconds later I was sad, 10 seconds after that I was irritated. I said to myself "woah, this is weird!" and made a point to remain very objective and calm so I could observe what was happening. My good friend Bjork was not making my effort to keep an even affect any easier, she had to go bludgening cops to death so she could buy her son an operation for a genetic degenerative disease that made her blind. Thanks alot Bjork!
Then, it got worse. Our old roommate took us to the grocery store (we are hippie bus riders.) I knew my mood was unstable, so I was trying VERY HARD to say little and remain calm. But Emma, OH OH Emma, she just couldn't help out could she? She was in a sour, sour mood. When I politely asked her if red-leaf lettuce was allright with her, she made some rediculous passive-aggressive comment that suggested it would not be eaten. Never mind that I have felt GUILTY for polishing off the last three heads, she decided it would be more appropriate to remember a time last June when a head of lettuce went bad and we had to throw it away. So I am at the store with my BITCHY acting roommate, and my SIMPLE acting ex-roommate. I am forced to interact with them, even when they are both being REALLY ABNOXIOUS at a time that I could be set off by much less.
I am going to do myself a favor and end this post here. How can I appropriately analyze whats going on with me when I am still pissed that she said "I don't like frozen broccoli" (how DARE she? what a bitch!)
mood: agitated, you name it