Why dont I want to turn to you anymore? You have helped me through so much, in fact, you have helped me become the person I am right now, so why would I give up on a good thing?
Maybe it's because I want to break from the life I had before Uganda, full of lonliness and isolation. Maybe I have reached the level where I don't need the crutch of the blog to coax me into living my life. Maybe I am not-depressed enough that moments of happiness arent as few and far between, so they don't stay in my mind as much as they used to.
I also am coming out of my shell now, I don't live inside my own head as much. When I was inside my own head my writing was so good, because it was like I was able to imprint my thoughts right onto the computer, but now I have moved my life out of my brain and into my home, and am starting to live outside my home too, so there is so much more activity in my brain, so I am not as good at capturing thoughts and transferring them to the page.
I won't give up on you blog, I owe you so much. You not only have helped me work out my feelings, you are an amazing record of the life I lead. If now my life is going very well I want to return and enjoy it in the future. Just as my mom's diarys gave me a window into her mind after she died, you could give my children a window into my mind after I die. Wouldn't I want them to see the joy in my life, not just the sorrow?
I am contemplating making a public myspace that I will show to my friends and family. Maybe part of the reason I am not as into blogging is I want to connect with the people in my life the way I have with myself and the readers of this blog. I have used this blog to inspire me to live a life exciting enough to blog about, how much more inspiring would it be to try to live a life exiting enough to share with my family and friends.
I will always value you though blog, you introduced me to myself, and I am very grateful.