Sunday, June 17, 2007

Risperdal tapering, problem #1

12:58AM Atlantic time

This is my first time in the atlantic time zone, very exciting if the day wasn’t so shitty

Now I am tasting the feeling of reduced risperdal when a stressor is involved. My airline has instituted a new carryon policy (the old one was bad enough) saying a person can bring one carryon onboard, and a purse counts as this carryon. There was a scary man who was yelling and in a rage, I didn't deny him boarding because I didn't think he would actually hurt me, but that didn't stop me from being afraid of him, and I was really upset for the whole flight, and had to hold back tears. I felt like I used to feel before I started Risperdal, really overwhelmed.

I have to learn how not to carry stress from past events (the scary man) or the future (future scary men) into the present. There are no scary men right now, so I shouldn’t be worried about them until it happens. I have had the habit of being anxious about events that could happen in the future. This is a lesson I learned on risperdal, and one I should carry with me as I go off of it.


Some good news is according to what I have read, there are withdrawl symptoms from going off risperdal, so maybe the level of anxiety I am experiencing is not what I will face in the future. I have rebounded from the anxiety I experienced yesterday (I write this at 1PM the next day) so maybe I have un-learned some anxiety-disorder behaviors.

Wish me luck!

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