Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Lonely and bored again-YAAAAY

I am home alone, and again, I feel lonely and bored! This is such a good sign, I wondered if last time was a fluke because I was premenstrual but it is verified, I feel lonely and bored home alone, which probably means that my intense desire to be home alone so much was depression related (do they call that "Isolating" ?)

Last time I did not make plans with a friend, I think I have to this time. I just called one. I am hopeful that this is not a "use it or lose it" situation, that if I take my time getting used to the new feelings that I will go back to the way I was. I don't want to take any chances, but I also don't want to overwhelm myself like I have a number of times in the past, by overfilling my schedule.

No matter what, I have to see this as a blessing. It is going to require me to be more active, which is going to require me getting over some lazyness, but now I have a chance, before my medication was increased it was just too challenging. I just have to recognize I am lucky.

mood: lonely and bored, grateful

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