This morning I threw up, so I called in sick. I was having a particularly difficult time getting ready for this trip and once I "got sick" I gave myself permission to say I'm sick. But frankly, I have no clue if I actually am!
This happened in march when I began my blog. I was home sick for a week, but the whole time I didn't believe it that I was. (I was) It's completely related to the anxiety & depression, I regularly feel spacy and lethargic, so when I am genuinely sick I just can't function, and when I am not sick I regularly feel like I am.
Here's one clue that I could genuinely be sick...I have had no appetite for 3 days! Me! No appetite! No such thing! Yesterday we made brownies, and they turned out really good (replace each cup of white flour with 3/4 cup whole wheat flour and add a tblsp of butter-yum!) I only ate 3. 3! If I can't eat a plate of brownies in one sitting, I am sick! LOL
On the other hand I have been quite the drama queen this morning, slouching in the shower, collapsing to the floor when I had to pick something up, and intensely sighing in 10 minute increments. I haven't worked in an airplane for at least two weeks, I could be experiencing a bit of "stage fright" (Thats drama queen language for social phobia)
All in all I already called in sick. I should enjoy this day as best I can. Right now I don't feel like enjoying it, I feel like going back to bed, that could be a sign that I am sick. But if I am not sick I need to use the day so I can get to work on time and organized tomorrow.
OH! I have to work for a living! My life is SOOOOOOO difficult! *falls limply into her chair*