Thursday, May 05, 2005


I fly with the nightmare captian this trip. I will give her the name "Unne Cultoured."

The first time I flew with Unne I could tell she looked down on flight attendants. I am talking nose in the air stuck up. As with most people, I didn't judge her by my first impression, so she had the chance to redeem herself. One day I was in the crew lounge freaking out. I had mistakenly thought that they had changed uniforms and had no idea how I would afford it. I was really angry, especially since they didn't provide samples for us to try on (of course they didn't, they hadn't switched yet. I said something like "Can you believe they expect us to buy them without trying them on?" and she, tactlessly said to me "you guys always complain how bad the uniforms are, now you are complaining that you have new ones." Mean. And that is easy for her to say, considering the company is required to pick up the cost of all of the pilot's uniforms.

Now I have to fly with her. She is the type of person to report me for sitting in the wrong place during the flight, or for not keeping EVERY SINGLE carryon bag off the plane. The F/O is new. I really hope I get along with him, so its not like the flight with the letch captain where the F/O didn't speak to me since letch and I didn't get along. Eww, I am having an anxiety attack. Unne is like the "Mean Girls" in Jr. High, except all grown up. To make her even more unlikable, she is loudly ultra right-wing, like the kind that embarrasses the moderate right-leaners. This is how she got the name "Unne Cultoured" The shrimpy captian doesn't have the great figure that Ann Coulter does, but they both have that cold, dead look in their eyes.

I wish I swapped out of this trip, I could have worked mothers day and helped someone out. Too late now I guess. The worst part will be the lonliness, 3 days with no-one to vent to. But good news is I have a cell phone now! Welcome to the 21st century Diana!

mood: anxious, dread


Jay said...

Welcome indeed, although I do think it's a little overrated. :)

How can anyone just not like flight attendants? The whole group? Just for being flight attendants? Okay, throw this in the pile with "why Jamie doesn't understand bigotry" I guess.

Satan said...

Kick her in the tits, steal her uniform and whip her through the plane with a small peice of carry on luggage.

You sounded so positive in your last post, fuck the panic attack and re-read what you wrote.

Diana Crabtree said...

Jay- The 21st century is so exciting with all of these new-fangled gadgets like "computers" and "cell-phones" I bet it's just a fad.

Sorry about the whole not understanding bigotry thing. move to the US, we can give you a crash course LMAO! I think Unne's thing is she is a woman, and a pilot, so she is SOOOO superior to the women in the traditional "female" position of flight attendant. And if you are a woman who laughs and flirts you are the bottom of the barrel (more of an issue of cultural attitudes than her alone. I am guilty of it too)

By the way I am SO TOUCHED that even though you are embroiled in a serious parcheesi game you still found the time to read and comment, uh oh I think I am gona go 'head and cry!

Diana Crabtree said...

I would have never guessed I would write something like this but Satan you are so sweet! I was on the plane during our dinner break and checked my e-mail on my new phone while sitting with the crew.

Oh how wonderful it felt to read that while sitting so close to her. Thanks for helping me keep things in perspective.

(BTW, I have decided not to follow your advice. Absolutely no carry on luggage is allowed on the aircraft. So, for that reason, I will not kick her in the tits, steal her uniform and whip her through the cabin with a small piece of carry on luggage. Thank you for the suggestion however.)