Friday, December 08, 2006


You know what I did today? I started by sleeping in and missing most of my therapist appointment (another post.) What have I done the rest of the day? Eat, look at celebrity gossip websites and thats it.

I am gaining weight. I haven't been following Weight Watchers at all, and I havent been working out. I don't look as georgeous as I have been lately.

I don't think this is depression. I think it is momentum. But I don't want my life to be this way or I will get depressed. I have come so far with my depression and weight, maybe I am sabotaging myself because I am afraid of what life will be like if I am attractive and energetic.

Also, what I talked about at my 15 minute appointment...Charles. I feel completely abandoned by him. My therapist says I should think twice about having him move in. She's probably right. I feel like I am not a priority to him right now, and I need to speak up (well I have 3 or 4 times) or I will resent him forever. I had a pilot on my flight who liked me last trip, and I found myself thinking about him for 3 days straight. Thats where I am right now, I just feel single.

Well Jennifer wants to use the computer now, which is a good thing. It means I wont me surfing for more sad Lindsay Lohan antics. Speaking of sad...I am spending unreplacable minutes of my life reading about and judging drug addicts strange behavior, when really I should be looking at and changing my own.

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