Friday, August 05, 2005

Should I?

Next to the keyboard sits a small elegant glass cup and saucer, on the saucer a delicate coffeespoon is rested. Through the side of the mug you can clearly see a light brown hot beverage, but its not what you think it is. In the cup is decaf coffee.

I had no caffeine yesterday. None. "Big deal" you think? Big deal is right. People, I am a person who NEEDS coffee, and not just becuase I am addicted, "quitting" as some people have suggested is not going to solve the "need" issue, for years I have needed it just to have the energy to survive.

Well now I don't "need" the caffeine, but I do still want it. I possibly could get more done this week if I have some but I sense that a bike ride would be as or more effective, with no anxiety side effects. I know that I CAN do it right now, and reduced caffeine will be good for my anxiety, but on the other hand it's possible that I "can" do it at another time, but I am a little worried that that may not be the case, what if I have a window right now, I don't want to miss it.

I intend to buy some decaf beans while I think about my decision, I know there is some caffeine in them still, but it's very little. I am still not sure what choice I should make, but I am leaning towards quitting.

mood: decaffinated (calm, a little tired, but better since I started moving around)

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