Monday, August 08, 2005

Life's great Luxuries: Fashion, Travel, Sanity

30 dollars. 30 dollars a month for medication. I already have the co-pays of the doctor and psychiatrist (high co-pays since it turns out the psychiatrist is out of my network) and 10 dollars a month I could handle, but 30????

Really I am pretty lucky. I have got so much more money now than 2 years ago I can't even believe it. I even get a raise this month. And I am pretty high functioning, which is fortunate for me too, someone who needed an anti-psychotic for say, psychosis might have a much harder time dealing with a $20 copay I need to see the big picture here and know I am fortunate. Maybe thats my problem, I see myself in comparison to the people who were born healthy, instead of looking at how fortunate I am to have health insurance (until the airline figures out a way to take it away) and access to steady care.

My mood is a little not-good right now. I can tell the difference between a normal bad mood and a chemical-imbalance bad mood and this is probably the latter. I took half of the anti-anxiety dose this weekend because I forgot to call my doctor sooner (what's the rush?) and then when I called it was a friday evening, so I had the weekend before they were called in. I think this drug has discontinuation effects (it says not to discontinue without medical supervision) so I blame that on my weird mood. I'm not too wacky right now I think, just a little pouty in a way that is a bit out of character for me.

Poor pharmacist. I said "$20?, I'll just get this one and sell some CD's to get the other one." I know people whine about prices all the time, but can you imagine giving someone an anti-psychotic and they start getting upset? Side note- allow me my psychotic jokes. I know they are insensitive but I am using them to deal with the fact that I am so crazy the run-of-the-mill antidepressant that a third of America takes isn't enough for me. I am in a different category of mental illness. I take an anti-psychotic for bob's sake!

These bad things can serve as reminders of how much good we have. If I wasn't giving $28 this month to Hosna I would have the money to buy what I need right now. But there is no way I would stop, because it helps me see that I am privledged, not a weasely victim I sometimes pretend I am. Now thats sanity.

mood: a little victimy, but improving

20 comments:

Satan said...

Didn't Og say that spraying perfume on your walls made your life perfect now. Welcome to perfect, my not so weasely victim.

Your post actually made me feel very very priviledged - Not only am I mostly sane (unless I've been writing for long periods... then there's doubt, ask WOB, she worries), but I honestly can't remember the last time (now don't hate me) I thought anything under $500 buckeroos was a lot of money.

Diana Crabtree said...

I am glad to help you see how privledged you are. It helped me so much to donate money to someone less privledged. May I help you feel more privledged?

(Make checks payable to Save the Crabtree)

Satan said...

Mmmm... funnelling money to a girl I met on the Internet. Now how do I explain that one to WOB.

Satan said...

You do hate me now : (

Diana Crabtree said...

Tell her you are sponsoring a underprivledged rabbit. Then show her fluffybunnycake's picture. She will melt on the spot

Diana Crabtree said...

Yes, I do. But to Satan "hate" is a term of endearment.

FluffyBunnyCakes said...

Satan you're a bastard & I hate you too. I can buy a lot of tail for $500.

Diana Crabtree said...

I suggest only showing the picture, don't let fluffybunnycakes talk ;)

FluffyBunnyCakes said...

Wot ya talk'n bout shweet heart? You know ya luv it!

Diana Crabtree said...

Fluffy, I miss your make-me-vomit cuteness.

Satan said...

Actually WOB and I are very much into animal protection.

Diana Crabtree said...

Satan, Fluffy, I have to go to work. I will be back on tomorrow for around the same amount of time.

Have fun at work.

FluffyBunnyCakes said...

Twas jus' a cleva ruse baby-doll. How 'bout we take a long one way walk in the forrest.

Satan said...

We'll miss ya. Take care!

Diana Crabtree said...

*smack* to both of you. A kiss for satan, and for fluffy...

FluffyBunnyCakes said...

*fluffy goes rolling to the other side of the blog*

OOOOOUCH! You bwoke my wittle spwirit. *Sniff* I'll be ok won day... wiff ferapy...

Hippitty *limp* Hoppitty

OG said...

i love ur attitude girl. too many of us moan about everything. and altho this will piss satan off, its so much healthier to count ones blessings instead. *my sincerest apologies to the lord of the underworld*
hope ur mood is not so wonky tomorrow

Diana Crabtree said...

Thanks OG, I am much better today (I forgot about another mood-altering activity yesterday- sleep!)

Diana Crabtree said...

Hugh Hefner- your cute act ALMOST worked. I know who you are now, you can't play cwoot wittow bunny with me!

Diana Crabtree said...

Satan, what animal causes do you and WOB support? Way to go BTW!

Maybe you can support an Environmental cause: "Save the Tasmanian Blackbutt"\

I probably wont be here tonight, so if you are wondering why I don't respond, it's because I hate you for living comfortably ;)