Thursday, June 16, 2005

Wishes come true, Prayers get answered

I walked home today from the gym, I got a membership today.

Two years ago I wished for this. I wished I could afford a gym membership or a cell phone membership or cable internet. Today I have all three.

Two years ago I wished I lived in a nice apartment or in a nice neighborhood. Today live in a nice apartment in a nice neighborhood (with inexpensive rent!)

Two years ago I wished I could break even. Today I have no debt but student loans, and I have money left over at the end of the month for entertainment.

Two years ago I wished I was beautiful, no one would even look at me except men with a fat fetish. Today I have lost 25 pounds and am passibly attractive. More importantly my energy has doubled (Thats like carrying a set of 12 pound dumbells with you everywhere you go!)

Two years ago I wished it was easier to get to work, it took me 2 hours and required 3 buses, which dropped off and picked up in depressed neighborhoods. Today I take one bus, that picks up a block from my house, and connect to a light rail train, and the whole process only takes an hour- less than it would with a car!

Two years ago I wished I had something to be proud of, to have accomplished something. Today I can say I had the courage to apply for the flight attendant job and the tour guide position, even though I didn't think I would get either one, but I did.

Two years ago I wished I had trustworthy, friends. Today I have them and see them regularly. I had them back then too, but I was
too busy wasting my time with trendy assholes.

Two years ago I wished I had peace of mind. If all of these wishes came true, maybe in two years I will have that too.

mood: blessed

47 comments:

Satan said...

Two years ago I was involved in making 100 million dollar films.

Now I'm not.

Maybe in two years I'll be a Hobo.

Diana Crabtree said...

I know you are making a joke my dear Mr. Satan, but it still speaks to my point. You have had big wishes, and they were granted.

One wish was to make big budget films I imagine. Unless it was a lucky break/side effect of keeping your mind on doing good work. So you said you are now not making a 100 million dollar film, what does that mean? Your current film is lower budget? You just quit your job today or were kicked out for beating up homeless drug addicts? You have moved into a genre that does not command such large investments?

I said wishes were granted, I didn't say every single wish is granted. I put my mind on certian things, and whether through metaphysical means or just having focus (or both) I got some of them. I haven't gotten everything I wish for.

So what is your wish? Is your wish to make films with mass appeal? Is it your wish to make films that will recieve publicity? Is it your wish to make films that people say they like? Is your wish to make films that educate people? Is it your wish to have enough money to buy a nice house? (so I will be willing to marry you of course) Is it your wish to have your name known? What the wish is is what really matters. If your wish is to make another 100 million dollar film then good for you. But is that the real wish? Or is it a pleasant side result of another wish being granted? Or was your entire comment just you mocking me?

I love your comment, no matter its intentions, because it illustrates something. Making 100 million dollar films is for most a pipe dream, and many are able to recognize how out of reach that is. What making a 100 million dollar film is to the middle class, is what being middle class is to many of the poor. It sounds wonderful, but so very far off, and some people spend their whole lives working hard and never get it, just like the auteur who makes film after film after film, and is never recognized. I wrote this post as a reminder to myself, and anyone who it might help that intention (or wishes or prayers or whatever) works.

But what would you know about that? Like youv'e ever accomplished anything worth noting ;)

Satan said...

Ummm, that's a lot of question marks.

You're right, my wish was to be a hobo and you gave me hope that I could achieve it. Yes. It was just a silly joke.

Just so you know, I didn't beat up a homeless drug addicts. My friend and I were mugged, I was knocked senseless, and the only way to stop the same thing happening to my friend was to stop this guy punching him. Just so you know : )



PS. through metaphysical means or just having focus (or both) You're closer to the dream factory than you think. Very close.

Diana Crabtree said...

I am so sorry you got mugged. I wondered if maybe it was a nuanced joke and I would have to read it a few times before I caught on. Are you and your friend ok?

Thanks for saying that really nice thing about "the dream factory". I have little doubt that I can get whatever I put my mind to, problem is now I don't have a clue what to put my mind to. Wait! I know! I will put my mind to figuring out what to put my mind to (which I am already doing I guess)

I wish instead of a nice thing you said something smart ass so I could tell you to get bent.

Satan said...

*Chuckle* You just did tell me to get bent!

Yeah, my friend and I are cool, if not a little battered. The worst thing is that now I keep getting this feeling that someone's right behind me when there's not. Violence is not fun but it can be necessary. His violence just wasn't necessary.

As to how to make up your mind about what you want... that's what I meant about 'that's a lot of question marks'. Who knows what they want. Most people are lucky if they know what they don't want.

Diana Crabtree said...

Well you have at least figured out what you want to be when you grow up. Not just what you want to be, but what you SHOULD be (as in something you will enjoy and do a good job of- which it sounds like you have) I for the life of me can't even begin to narrow it down. Wait! I do have career plans! I want to be a Stewardess! (I haven't ruled it out)

I really feel for you about the "looking over your shoulder" thing. I'm sure it will fade.

Satan said...

Not to over analyse it but when I think of all the things that I was really good at when I was a kid and a teenager. I realised that film was the only thing that was diverse enough where I could do all of them. Also, it doesn't contain any of the things that really bore me. Well, maybe editing.

Try making a list of things you were good at when you were young and why you were good at them.

Satan said...

Ooops, not that you're old... eeek!

Diana Crabtree said...

I was really good at giving people pretzels when I was young

Diana Crabtree said...

I sound old, I know I do

Satan said...

What about throwing granola bars??

You sound like a babe in the woods. Well, a babe anyway...

Diana Crabtree said...

I really like what you are saying there, and I think that goes right to the problems I am having in figuring it out. I spent my adolecence/early 20's trying to fit in with the "Average American" instead of being myself, so now I am in the process of figuring that out (what do they call this? A quarter-life crisis?)

Getting to your point though (inherant strengths) I am learning (posting about it right now) that I am wired creatively (teachers told me this alot- or maybe they said I was weird creatively- I can't remember) but I also love science and anthropology so who the fuck knows.

Diana Crabtree said...

"a babe" tee hee hee

I think I my brain is 40- I mean it

Diana Crabtree said...

Except it's fourty without the 40 year old bank account

Satan said...

Mmmm... yeah I was always really good at technical things, and computers, and I'd always come top in art.

In you're case, which sciences and what makes you love them - are you good at them?

PS. 1/4 life crisis - Chuckle

Satan said...

As in, You've always acted more adult than those around you. I used to do that. Let it go, be young. Hang out with 5 year olds for a day and re-learn how to play. I have a thing called breakfast theatre where if I'm in a silly mood I put on an impromptu show over breakfast for my missus. It doesn't always make sense, but it is funny, well, fun.

Diana Crabtree said...

That is hilarious and lovely! Yay!

Satan said...

It keeps me entertained anyway.

Satan said...

I've thought about teaching it as couples therapy, you know, to stop them taking their problems so seriously that they forget how to have fun together.

I could write a book! I wouldn't help anyone, but I could write it.

Diana Crabtree said...

You should write a book about it! Except market it as a revolutionary weight loss program, it will sell like hot cakes!

Satan said...

Therapy
Weight Loss
What more does it need! You're one smart cookie.

Diana Crabtree said...

As for your free career counseling...

I had it narrowed down in high school that Physical Therapy is the perfect career field for me, and it has popped up again and again as being appropriate. (Maybe occupational therapy)

Problem is I am not "good" at anything, (school-wise) because I still have my mental shit in the way of being able to study. Until that is reined in, any educational endeavor is a waste of my time and money.

So far, the Flight Attendant job has been a pretty good vocation. I think I am on the right path, I would just enjoy knowing where it leads

Diana Crabtree said...

I expect a percentage.

Satan said...

Maybe you can ghost write it with me! You're a pretty fine writer.

I hear you on the educational thing. Babe-e-steps. The flight attendant thing is a hard one. Qantas has a whole online college thing happening so that their hosts can re-skill as they move on in their career.

Diana Crabtree said...

We can't start that book until we have finished our Bollywood horror film about the girl who sells her limbs to buy her white boyfriend a motorcycle helmet, while dancing (one legged) to hip-hop

And I know it is going to take AGES to finish since you arent getting the 100 million dollar budget I was banking on!

(BTW I caught that compliment you snuck in there! Your good! sneaky sneaky)

Satan said...

Maybe we could include a re-enactment of our bollywood film as our first peice of breakfast theatre. Cross promotion.

Woodenpurse said...

err...i dunno whats going on with this conversation but i really really liked your post. very few people can see what has been actualized, they just keep on asking for more and more.

Diana Crabtree said...

I love it! You do it at home, and I will do that on the airplane in lieu of the safety briefings. We can even try alternate versions of the scenes to see what works best (live performance focus groups)

Satan said...

Hey Woodenspoon - We're just wasting time with purpose. But you're right, Diana's posts are great.

Self actualisation is completely possible. When you're doing it properly there's not much room for asking for more & more. You only get what the world has instore for you inline with who you are.

Satan said...

Diana - If you do that on a flight, I so want to bring my camera. I'd kill for that sort of entertainment.

Satan said...

Diana - If you do that on a flight, I so want to bring my camera. I'd kill for that sort of entertainment.

Satan said...

Must be luck double post Friday.

Diana Crabtree said...

Oh my god Satan!

Self actualization. I googled that and I saw Maslow's Heirachy of needs, my entire political philosophy is based on that! Yay!

And nice to have a name for what I am striving for.

Diana Crabtree said...

Thanks Woodenspoon! I had to post about it for that very reason...I am one of those people who wants more and more instead of looking at what they have. Thats the quickest way to unhappiness...becuase you can be a healthy, married with children millionaire and still be miserable, because you are focused on what you DONT have.

Thanks again!

Satan said...

I think we all want to be One with God. Think about what that would truly mean to do that day to day.

Diana Crabtree said...

What it would truly mean to do that day by day. A difficult goal, especially if you want to fit in.

Honestly thats what I'm going for really. Of course it's impossible, but to be as true to myself and the universe as possible is the direction I want to go in, which is pretty new for me.

I was 3/4 of the way through a post and I closed the browser without saving it! The post would provide a perfect explaination for my mood.

Satan said...

Doh - about the post.

And, I don't know about impossible. Possibly more possible than you think possibly.

Diana Crabtree said...

Well human beings are animals. And everything we do is a behavior. If our behavior comes from our brains, and our thoughts are electrical currents, then everything we do comes from nature. So its possible that we are one with God no matter what, which is possibly not impossible.

Diana Crabtree said...

It's possible that to be one with god, one must sleep possibly. I am going to try that and see if it helps me self-actualize.

Satan said...

No free will?

Satan said...

Damn, to late. I hope it's Mel keeping you up and not me.

Night!

Diana Crabtree said...

Yes free will. Free will is a thought. A thought is an electrical current. An electrical current is nature.

Diana Crabtree said...

Neither Mel nor you keep me up. I have free will.

I was up writing my brilliant meaningful post. Oh well. It was free will that led me to close my browser.

Satan said...

Or silliness

Satan said...

Yes free will. Free will is a thought. A thought is an electrical current. An electrical current is nature. Nature is at one with God. God is eternal, knowing all things in all times. Everything we do is predestined

So why does he let bad things happen to good people. Like me. Being hit in the head hurt. Damn God. Satan is good.

Seriously though, I think it's a little more complicated than time allows us to get through the 'Man is one with God'.

Satan said...

Always a pleasure Diana.

Sleep well.

Diana Crabtree said...

I never implied that anything is predestined. I implied god and nature are the same thing.

I still choose to worship you, Satan.

night