Thursday, June 09, 2005

Love letter to SpiderSolitaire part 4

My dad spend hours and hours on the computer when I was a child. This was in the Commodore 64 days, this was in the days when a periodical called "Computer User" existed (like people who "used" computers was a niche market) He spent alot of time on bulliten boards (IM didnt even EXIST to the public and I worried about him. He didn't have friends, and I felt very strongly that you cant have real friendships on the computer. Wow was I wrong!

I stand by my belief that it isn't healthy to put your entire social energy on the computer. There is something important about interacting face to face with a 98.6 degree breathing entity. I think it's in our genes to need that. I am glad however that computer communication exists for those people who are severely socially challenged (Sounds funny, but I am being serious) I can't imagine how lonely it would be to have really repellant social skills, or to be so anxious that you can't leave the house, so I am glad that this form of communication exists as a stepping stone into socilization. That being said, my opinion has changed about online friendship, I not only now know its possible, I am really lucky to have a new great friend! Online- (mostly!)

Spider just called me one of her closest friends on her blog. Sounds weird right? We have never been in the same room yet I feel the same way! On the phone the other day she said something about feeling like she has made great health strides in the last few months. I feel the same way too! I know a big part of it is the blog, it helps me turn my abstract feelings into concrete ideas that I can work with, but thats not all. It's also having my new friend in my life.

Spider lives in Texas, I live in a liberal state. Spider has kids and a husband I have never been married or pregnant. Spider has tattoos and cool hair, I look conservative except for a scar on my belly button. Spider is REALLY young (21) I am REALLY old (28) LOL. Even though our lives are so different, it is remarkable how alike we think! She knows just the right things to write/say when I am feeling down, and how to make me laugh. She also gives me a feeling that my struggles are not in vain. It feels really good to know that I can use the mistakes I have made and put them to some good, and 9 times out of 10 they seem to apply since we see things so similarly.

I am so excited about the credit counseling for her. Her family's debt is not very much, and Spider is really good when it comes to money, its just that collection agents are paid based on how much they collect, so they will go to extreme measures to get the money. No one with anxiety issues needs people calling to harrass them, one once sent me calling a suicide hotline, and I was not in a lot of debt either! I really think this will be great for her family and anxiety level (and there is no anti-depressant like being debt free!)

And readers...if you read her post, don't go thinking I am some evangalist trying to push my religion- i don't agree with that sort of thing. She was describing a church that her husband invented, and I was like "that already exists- Its called Unitarian Universalist" I have to hold back a little about how excited I am to have introduced someone to UU, because I don't believe in imposing your religion (I like OG's way of going about it, letting your life be the advertisement) but I must say, I am so excited...and hope that it brings both of them the stimulation and inspiration it has brought me! (oh, and did you know Dave Chapelle's mother was a UU minister? YEA-YAH!)

This is turning out to be more of a response to Spider's post than a love letter, I could write a long post about all the positive effects her friendship has had on my life in a short few months, because they are many. I guess I wanted to say I am happy I could bring good things to her life because she has brought so much good to mine!

Love you fraternal twin sister separated at birth by seven years!

mood: blessed


Satan said...

Eh-erm... not worshipping me today?

Anonymous said...

i am sad. i feel like i am losing my best friend to you. you are so special to her. please be good to her.

Diana Crabtree said...

You have no reason to feel this way. Are we all allowed only one friend? If we have a sister and love them very much does that mean we don't have enough love left to have a friend? Absolutely not.

You are so special to her too, she brings you up LITERALLY every time we talk. She was so heartbroken to lose you (I respected your choice BTW) and was over the moon when you came back.

I am a bit older and so our friendship is more like sisters than friends, so even if I wanted to (which I don't) you could never be replaced. She needs you more than she needs me. You are there, in her life. Never forget that.

SpiderSolitaire said...

Our internet was out last night, so I asked Hubby to check all my blogs for me. He printed this out & brought it home.
I STARTED CRYING (and am about to again now)
You are such an amazing person & my life is better having someone like you in it. I am lucky to be surrounded with such wonderful people!
Love you Hunny Bunny Sailor!