Thursday, July 19, 2007

No Risperdal

When I went to visit my family I had the worst time getting ready to go. i kept pushing back the time I said I would go, and I seriously considered not going. That would have been so stupid. I hung out and giggled with my girl cousins, walked around a beautiful lake, had a picnic with the whole family (including my awesome grandpa) and distributed Uganda souveniers, and had a campfire with smores. I didn't feel a moments depression when I was there (and I have before when I was there)

So yesterday I decided I felt strong enough to taper down to no risperdal. So today was my first day without.

I started out just fine, but on my flight to white plains I nearly lost it. People were getting up when they werent supposed to and one guy was so stupid that I wont even tell the story. At the end of the flight I said "I was in Uganda where people live in mud huts, and they have more class than these people" and I turned my head and there was the jerk-off. Ha ha

I went with the pilots to the restaurant in the hotel, and the waitress was so rude that I told the pilots "you know what? I can't deal with this...I'm going for a bike ride" (the hotel has bikes :) ) I am glad I did, the bike ride helped.

I think I might not take it tonight either, though I worry I might be making a mistake. Maybe I should be doing this under the observation of a professional, though I think if I feel too weird I can just take it again and then call someone.

I'm not happy to go back to being hyper and irritable. Although there are some plus sides, I am more bubbly and I laugh harder. Maybe I can just learn to contain myself a little, and keep my composure and it will be fine.

And some sleep would help

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