Thursday, January 19, 2006

Obsessive Crush

There is nothing like the prospect of someone you want to have sex with visiting your house. Your living conditions are a major reflection of you. A messy chaotic bedroom? A messy chaotic mind. Or at least a girl or guy you would not want to become serious with. Seeing and smelling Marshmallow Cock's bedroom and awful bathroom sink dried my vagina to desert aridness. I have decided to use the fantasy of first officer Ron in my bed to motivate me to clean my house.

When I was in high school and college I used to get obsessive crushes on boys. I would see someone accessable but still appealing, they would give me a small cue of interest, and I would fall into long, multiple month fixation on them. I would fantasize in my mind what it would be like to date the characters I attached to their faces, and I would act like an idiot around them, guarunteeing that my idealized vision of them would not be tarnished.

I have decided to cultivate my attraction with first officer Ron into one of these crushes, though more even headed than the ones from high school and college. Imagining leading him into my bedroom is the biggest motivation, having to step over crumpled papers and sprawled dirty socks has a tendency to break up the mystery.

If he asks me out naturally I won't say no, I just cant help it, the chemistry was too good, but he is probably not a good match for me, he was in the military and I would probably feel subconcious pressure tugging me into the corprate mainstream to appeal to him. If he is not a good person to persue seriously, but with strong enough chemistry to propell me into improving myself, hes the perfect victim, er I mean candidate.

mood: ready to be productive :)

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