Tuesday, January 17, 2006

It was the best of trips, it was the worst of trips

I can't begin to write a post that would adequately describe the week I had. I am going to skim over the details, because I just want to record it...it was quite the week.

First, I went to visit my family in the North of my state.

My sweet 14 year old cousin just had her heart broken by a boy who "didn't like her that way" something easy for me to empathize with since I am fresh from a similar adolecent experience.

She, maybe for the first time in my life, got on my nerves. I made her a copy of the original cast recording of "Rent" she got a copy of the movie soundtrack and not only prefered it, but kept telling people, in front of me "Guess what! Susie made me a copy of the Soundtrack of Rent!" She's 14 Diana, get over it.

I gave her and her family, a surragate nuclear family of sorts, a massage cushion you put on a chair. Not the vibrating kind, either, the shiatsu kind, that rolls up and down your back. I think it went over well. They never embarrassed me by saying it cost too much, that made me feel really good.

My aunt Annie (Surragate mom) gave me a Zen calendar (a statement of acceptance from my very christian aunt) and a contraption similar to a george foreman grill. She said that there are grocery stores in airports that I can get food at. I am yet to see one. I carried it around with me anyway, because I just love her so much.

I saw my aunt Elizabeth, a woman who has been a bit cold and snarky in the past (she doesn't say "I love you" OUCH!) She retired from teaching and she smiles a lot now, and she even smiled lovingly at me a few times.

I saw my aunt Ester, and I swear I am a clone of her. She is SO imperfect, but somehow her imperfections make you love her more. When you are around her you feel OK, just as you are, and that is a compliment people pay me regularly.

On day one of my trip, I got some digits. A gate agent I have had the hots for for awhile was talking to me before a flight, and right before he pulled the jetbridge he handed me a piece of paper that said "coffee?" and his number. He is half Puerto Rican and half Italian, and he has a birthmark under his eye. He is the only guy I can think of that is hot enough to pull off a birthmark under his eye.

And I flew with what was a crush, and is now a burning LOVE. His name is Ron Woogleherf (or something like that) I flew with him before, and we even had lunch together. He was bullying me like a lovesick 11 year old. I felt like I was in Jr. High again. Today he tugged on my pony tail, I turned to him and said "You DO know what it means when you pull on a girl's ponytail" he said "It means you like her" I nodded yes, and he tugged on my ponytail again!!! God he was hot. He had hairy arms, dark hair, and he had a REALLY developed body with a little bit of pudge over it...if he was a little taller he would have my FAVORITE physique! Oh, did I mention he has 2 degrees? One of which is an electrical engineering degree? I love him. I TOTALLY expected he would ask me out at the end of the trip, did I mention that the "slim/petite" loving personals ad PUNK said "Call me okay?" at the FRONT of the airplane? I was REALLY sad he didn't ask me out. I get hit on 3 times in 2 weeks and I have the audacity to be dissapointed when I don't get the 4th!

On the first day I put a maxi pad in Ron's bag. On the second day I put pictures of body builders in his bag. On the third day he told the cute 10 year old unaccompanied minor on the plane to tell him if I put anything in his bag. I went to her and asked what he said. I asked her if she wanted to help me. I told her not to lie if he asks, because lying is wrong (proud of me?) so we went through a magazine and I told her to pick what pictures were funny. She would say "that one", "none on that page." My favorite thing she said was when we found a characature of Bill Gates. She said "That kind of looks like him" It doesn't look remotely like him, which made it even more adorable.

I could lose my job! There was this bitchy old lady who asked me if there were any open seats. She was SO EVIL! Her energy was so draining, I wanted to be as far from her as possible. I said there is one seat open, why? She said she wasn't feeling good, and wanted to lay down. I said if she is sick I dont want her in the exit row, becuase she would have to help passengers in an emergency. She said "I didn't mean sick, I'm meant tired" I said "You have to be able to lift 40 pounds, can you do that?" She said yes. I just wanted her to go away, she was SO REPULSIVE. I was like "fine, go ask if the person will switch" I was surprised they said yes (probably for the same reason I did) so the nasty bitch went back there. I went to the captian about it. I didn't like her there, I didn't believe she could help in an emergency, but what was I supposed to do? test her? He agreed. 3 passengers were upset about it. I was thankful that they were, they gave me the energy to make her move out of the exit row. She was nearly as nasty about it as I expected. I have never seen a look so evily haughty. Guess what? That bitch ordered a wheelchair! If I knew that I could have refused easily. That bitch who ordered a wheelchair had the audacity to say she could help in an emergency! I could get fired for that I think. I am hoping it is not reported by any of the passengers.

On day 3 I was charging my phone, I kept it in the top drawer, plugged in, with the cord pinched becuase the drawer was closed. When I opened the drawer there was a flash of light and a BANG! Smoke even! I jumped back and screamed. I quickly unplugged it. Everything was ok. The crew had been talking some smack about the old testament the first 3 days, after that I asked that we don't do that anymore, ;).

Today (s)crew scheduling switched our trip. They sent the entire crew to Detroit, to drop off the plane, and then sent us back on a Mainline plane. There was ABSOLUTELY no reason for me to be there! Too funny, hilarious in fact.

But the best just HAD to be getting to meet the boy who hurt my feelings so badly by excluding my body type from his personal ad profile, while we were in the middle of corresponding, and having him drool all over me! What a prick.

The worst part of the trip was not being asked out by Ron. Okay, really the worst part was possibly losing my job, or maybe my life, but second to those is not being asked out by Ron. We work together, so maybe it could happen in the future, even if it shouldn't. I enjoyed him so much.

It has not just been a great trip...It has been a great year so far! I have not lost a pound, but my energy level is different since increasing my antidepressants, it's PROOF that personality and confidence has as much to do with attractiveness as physical features. I have gotten 3 numbers in only 2 weeks! I probably only got 3 numbers last year total! I am going to keep up my mood and my attitude, but am not going to hope for my winning streak in the man department to continue. It's a good way to start out the year!

mood: ready for bed...havent been home for a week!


Joseph said...

This is Sharuk Khan talking. You've a pony tail? Ok, I'm coming there to pull your pony tail and take you for a dinner. Never mind I'm tooooo old for you.

Other than that, it is so nice of your Christian aunt to present you a Zen calendar. She should love you so much.

Diana Crabtree said...

Your not to old for me Shah Ruck! All you have to do is ASK ME OUT (unlike that jerky Ron!) LOL

Thanks Joseph, I was so touched by her gift!