Monday, November 05, 2007

My Baltimore Adventure

My trip to Baltimore consisted of two parts. The first part, family time, and the second part 60 yr old man time.

I learned that my aunt and uncle are seperated. They had some problems before so I wasn't surprised, but it seems so unneccesary to me. They were married 30 years, so I don't want to judge. My uncle, very maturely, said "who says a marriage has to last forever to be a success? We had 30 years together, we grew alot, we raised 2 great kids, I say it was a success" All that matters to me is my aunt remains my aunt, and that no-one gets unneccesarily hurt.

Spending time with my cousin was great, we laughed alot, and found a flattering bridesmaid dress (although I am angry to learn I am size 18!) It was great bonding with all of them, I look forward to seeing them again soon.

The second half of the trip was my time with 60 year old, who it turns out is 64. It was such an interesting experience, though there is a little after-effects that I didn't expect.

He picked me up at my aunt's house, and he was wearing awful dark glasses that made him look creepy. I think he thought they would make him look younger, but instead they made him look like an old man who can't be trusted. I could tell my aunt was not impressed.

We got lost searching for the hotel. Then it took us a long time to get to the inner harbor, it was after 2 and we hadn't eaten yet. We stopped at a sushi place and then headed to the baltimore aquarium. The aquarium wasn't as great as I remember it being, but I think that's partially because I was so tense from my aunt seeing him, getting lost, being late, and people looking at us, wondering what we were about (he is a 64 year old Chinese man, there is no way he could pass as a dad.) I will say though, the octupus was awake and active, so that was worth the price of the ticket right there. We left before seeing the dolphins or Australian exhibit. I do regret that I guess, but I was just tired and overstimulated from the week.

We got on the wrong train, so we had to get off at another stop. He suggested getting a beer while we waited for a cab, I hated the idea, but there was a restaurant, and once we arrived, everything was calm.

The place was completely empty, and it was small so you could hear the rap music coming from the back room. We ordered a bottle of wine, but the guys were fumbling around with it for what seemed like 20 minutes. The food was good, and the wine helped. You could tell the guys in the back were very intrigued with our arrangement.

We took a cab back to the hotel, and the cab driver was even more intrigued. He even said "your a nice couple" which was funny to me. We got in the hotel room and started kissing immediately. He is a very nice kisser, and his mouth tasted the way raw pumpkins smell.

The sex was really great, some of the best ever. And one thing I want to say is, any feelings that a 64 year old is not sexy, because he or she has wrinkly skin, is self-hating. We will all have wrinkled skin one day, and it didn't look or feel bad, it just felt a little softer & looser than my skin. A sixty year old person is still a sexual person, they are just like they were when they were young, just with more life experience, and more aches and pains.

In fact, in the hotel room, we could fall in love. We were really in touch with each other, and it was really relaxing and fun. The only problem is the after effects. You shouldn't get an emotional attachment to someone that you could never have a normal future with.

I know I felt a little lonely the next day, and he said he was more fond of me than he expected. He suggested us taking a vacation to mexico or something, and I think that is a nice idea, but I don't want one of us to fall in love, because it can't end well.

And yes, I am including myself in that category of not wanting to fall in love. Even if he was 30 years old he is still catholic and republican, but I enjoyed him. He is very cute, though I dont think we have enough in common to have a real relationship.

I know now he is having a lot of catholic guilt, on my behalf as well. He thinks that my sexual history is bad, and though I would make different choices if I lived my life over, I am not ashamed of anything I have done, except when someone's feelings were hurt. I think his feelings are coming from a good place, a protective place.

So I had my older man fantasy, and although it wasn't exactly what I had in my head, it taught me alot. One thing it taught me is that I have a long sexual life ahead of me, and that makes me very happy. I also felt very beautiful, extremely beautiful, even with my chubby body and pale skin. I think feeling beautiful is the core of this fantasy, and it worked. Too bad I feel too stuffed up and tired to bask in the afterglow.

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