Well folks, I was brave. I put myself out into the world, out of my comfort zone, and tried dating. I have made the decision to now return to my comfort zone.
The golf date is cancelled. Over the weekend BK and a girl he was seeing became official. I am quite disappointed, but on the other hand very ready to retreat back into my safe little cocoon of a life. I probably need to still heal from the MacDuff incident (I feel quite molested by the experience.) I tell you what though, dating a normal guy might have helped to drill in the point that I dont have to settle for someone who pressures me. But I probably wasn't ready. Him rejecting me because he chose another woman is probably nicer for my ego than him rejecting me because I cant open up.
I am mildly depressed right now. I am hopeful that not having the extra pressure of a new man in my life will allow me to deal with that quicker, but it could have had the opposite effect of giving me a reason to heal.
crap
mood: sortof patheticly sad, I gotta do something about that
14 comments:
I used to hate people who told me that "it happens when you're not looking," or "you have to love yourself before anyone else could love you." Honestly? I flipped them off in my head.
But seriously. It's true. Until you're on good footing with yourself, you don't want any guy anyway, you know? It's like, if someone fell in love with you now when you're not ready, what will happen when you're out of the dark? Will he like you then? Is he in love with you or your neuroses? You'll be stuck there with your wheels spinning. My (unsolicited) advice: put it out of your head. Spend time with friends, by yourself doing new things, etc. Act as if, and you'll soon realize that you're not acting anymore. Once you have a happier and more peaceful aura, it's ON.
Awesome Stacy. I think you are so right! Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks :) :)
I'm glad Stacy jumped in with that good bit of advice... I didn't know what the heck to say :( ...Other than the ever-pathetic "Hang in there" BLEH!
Oh, sigh, I am so sorry. You will be ok. I am a firm believer in the power of love. But, I think you have to first realize how great you are (just what I get from reading) before you can be open to experience love in its full greatness...I think you need to love "you" first. I know sounds corny but for years I wondered why I attracted the kind of men that I did and I just recently came to the realization that it was something inside of me...something that I gave off that told men that I would accept whatever they gave...now, I always put me first and recognize my greatness thus, I have more control...It will all come in time...I think you are GREAT...but you gotta think you are.I hope you do not mind my honest comments.
I don't know the pressure of a new man in your life... how about the pressure of an old friend?
You're beautiful and great and you just need to be patient. HA! I'm so un-original...
WV: girl, untold terrific boyfriends obviously just need calling.
Thanks Aurora, a "hang in there" is much needed.
Sparkle, I know you are right, I thought I was really getting somewhere in the self image thing, but I obviously have a ways to go. Thank you so much for being honest :)
Satan, I am not sure what I would do with myself if I didn't have the pressure of the old friend ;)
Oh and: funny guys love long hair
awww shucks, me neither... thanks for yesterday.
still try cutie u cool
You bet hon. Thanks too.
I am off to bed but hope to catch up soon (last night didn't count :) )
Royal x-ray early observations show quality liver
True, speak to you soon.
WV: For valentines a lick just troubles.
OK, let's try this again. I had a long comment goin here that turned into a small novel. I was comparing the concepts of self-image and a good first impression (or second or third..lol). I think if you can separate these two things, one being for youself, the other being for everyone else, then you would be able to develop a comfortable sense of self worth. Does this make any sense at all?? lol
I think you should just go for a good long bike ride with friends... that tends to cheer you up.
...silly zebras never call anymore
Soooo... I like to have my lemons grabbed. ; )
Sorry Satan, I'm heading out the door (I will have to grab a few things first)
You lie! You're just avoiding aren't you ; )
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