At my first appointment with my psychiatrist I held up a Diet Dr. Pepper and asked "If I have anxiety disorder, why oh why do I drink so much caffiene?" It was an easy answer for him "To compensate for a sluggish nervous system." I self medicate my depression with caffiene, the nerves fail to send a message from one to the next, and walking to the basket on the other side of the room for a magazine seems just too hard so I just sit on the couch, staring at the basket, wanting to read one.
Today was one of those days. Last night I slept 15 hours, FIFTEEN. And that doesn't include the nap I had during the day. I don't think this is as sad as it sounds, since I have begun flying, 3 times now I have slept for an entire day. Yesterday was certianly emotionally related, but I think it was also catching up.
I got up only one hour earlier than usual (even though I went to bed very early) and grabbed a magazine. (thank goodness I was able to ;) ) I took breaks from reading and thought of how little desire I had to get started on the day, even though my day will end at my family's house in the north of my state. I knew that depression is coming on, and that I had learned that caffeine can help me fire the nerve cells and keep me going. And here I am, posting, something I have a hard time motivating myself to do if I am feeling depressed.
Yay for lattes
mood: SOOOOOOOO BLAH! But better with a little cah-fay