Well folks, I was brave. I put myself out into the world, out of my comfort zone, and tried dating. I have made the decision to now return to my comfort zone.
The golf date is cancelled. Over the weekend BK and a girl he was seeing became official. I am quite disappointed, but on the other hand very ready to retreat back into my safe little cocoon of a life. I probably need to still heal from the MacDuff incident (I feel quite molested by the experience.) I tell you what though, dating a normal guy might have helped to drill in the point that I dont have to settle for someone who pressures me. But I probably wasn't ready. Him rejecting me because he chose another woman is probably nicer for my ego than him rejecting me because I cant open up.
I am mildly depressed right now. I am hopeful that not having the extra pressure of a new man in my life will allow me to deal with that quicker, but it could have had the opposite effect of giving me a reason to heal.
mood: sortof patheticly sad, I gotta do something about that