Tuesday, November 15, 2005


My dad called me tonight to tell me he goes in for surgery tomorrow, he is getting a cataract removed!

I can't put into words how happy I am to know this. My dad is a craftsman, he works with his hands, he needs depth perception.

The surgeon is one of the best in the country! My dad has health insurance to cover the operation! This may seem normal to many people but it is a dream come true for me, I may have health insurance, but how can I be calm and happy if I know my own father doesn't?

Seeing my mentally ill father who has no retirement account with a cataract was really frightening to me. If his health is failing at only 56, how will he survive as he ages? Knowing he will have this operation is such a weight off my shoulders.

mood: not great, but it was great when I found out


OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Just happened to see your post and really understand what you are talking about. That Medical Insurance is important cannot be stressed enough, ass you know. I had to have Cateract Surgery on both my eyes and without Insurance I would NOT have been able to do it! I am a painter, among other things, and my work depemds on my eyesight....I'm happy for your father that he will have this...it is not horribly dangerous and most of the time it is an out patient proceedure, and i tell you, it is miraculous!!! Much luck to your Dad and to you, too...

Satan said...

Hey, isn't that the Dr I saw on 60 minutes who sells Corneas to Banglasdesh?! Hehe, That sounds really good. I here about from Americans all the time how Health Insurance is such a big issue. We have government run health paid for by the state. Now thats Pretty Cool.

Also, off topic, did you know that sometimes I just scroll your blog really quickly and read those 'how I'm feeling' bits and try and mimic the emotion really quickly. It's like a mood ring. Almost better than dope... almost.

wv: two unwanted awful cataracts zapped

Diana Crabtree said...


It calmed me to hear the operation isn't a big deal- WHEW!


Yes, I think it is that doctor. My dad, an American, had to pay for the surgery somehow, so he is selling one of his corneas in exchange for the labor costs of fixing the other one.

Do you really scroll my blog and momentarily mimic my moods? Thats weird. Do they seem really mood-swingy? That is the reason I started my blog in the first place, I wanted to record my moods in preperation for therapy.

There is one thing you should know- you know if you make funny faces your face will freeze that way- well same with this, if you mimic my moods your mood will freeze that way! You had better hope that it freezes during one of my happy moods! What if instead it froze while mimicing a post written after seeing a weird movie? You will spend your whole life thinking a rabbit from the future is talking to you!

wv: Every person expects to justify varying subjects

Satan said...

What? there isn't a bunny from the future talking to me... now that is weird.

And no, I dont really do that. I scolled down to one of your earlier posts and just saw mood, mood, modd, flash bye. I thought 'wouldn't be weird if you atually felt them every time you scrolled past'. I have weird thoughts sometimes, No, I wasn't stoned. I'm jut Odd.

wv: blow job yes yes do it bitch... um, sounds like the sound track to a porn film. Sorry.

Diana Crabtree said...

I am glad you don't actually do that, maybe I should stop doing that on your site. I can't tell you how many people I have accidentaly smited since reading your blog

wv: I believe all pigs- guys

Satan said...

Ha! Yeah, my site isn't the most healthy site to try and mimic. I've had one instance where I'd finished posting as Satan and then took the very slow lift downstairs to have a smoke after lunch, there was a guy who got on at a lower floor who did psh the close door button. I almost told him off in my best Satan style before I caught myself. Lucky I remembered I was back in reality, he probably would have pummelled me.

wv: ok a quick qaulity fornication equals quasi animal

Diana Crabtree said...

Wow! I can imagine that could get a little addictive, the ability to express your aggression, glad you stopped yourself!

Does the site ever put you in a bad mood? Like does being "evil" ever feel like a burden?

Mine feels like a burden sometimes, pretending to be depressed all the time is a lot of work! Hee hee

Lost fish over pacific miles swim

Satan said...

Actually no, it's all in fun... the majority of people who go to it know that so I never feel bad about the things I say on there. Mind you, wth this last post, I did go around to peoples sites, people who I thought wouldn't normally take being insulted well, and let them know that I wasn't being serious.

Being evil all the time on blogger sometimes feels like a burden but if it falls at the time of a new post I'll put something on like the Knowing Strangers post or turn into a bunny for a day, or something.

Probably the best thing is that I now have absolutely no fear of expressing my opinion whatever it is. I used to be a little reserved in that way and sometimes it would be detrimental, with film people, to what I was trying to achieve. I do freak my friends out sometimes with the weird shit I come out with. But that's sort of fun and makes them go 'Oh, you know, he's a crazy artist' and I get away with it.

WOWZER! This is all just a 'role' for you. You're one talented girl! Totally had me fooled. : )

wv: guess what police are jerks

Diana Crabtree said...

Which recent post would people feel insulted by? How is pretending to be a bunny insulting?

I am so glad that it has helped you speak your mind, maybe I need to make an evil site, I walk on eggshells too much and it helps no-one. Most people would prefer to hear "fuck off" than have you be overly nice. Speaking of, your hair looks nice today. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

cute porcupines never love pouring iced tea

Satan said...

Thanks, do you believe the difference not covering it in the blood of innocents makes?

No, the bunny wasn't insulting, the Blacker than Black post where I was insulting people. It was just meant to be an "i'm back' post but some of the things I said in the comments were fairly nasty. I probably should apologise to Q as well, she really didn't like the attention (even though everyone was nice to her).

Evil Site, Hell Yes, I'd love to see an evil site by you. It has helped me feel at ease expressing complex ideas succinctly, rather than just about speaking my mind. before I was a little concerned people wouldn't understand what I was saying or envisioning. Now I have a lot more confidence with that.

Wv: fat old junky just overdosed

Diana Crabtree said...

I think it is "the right thing to do" to apologize to Q, and I don't believe that two wrongs make a right, but her post was pretty mean, calling your site offensive and lame, when (I looked) you were very nice to her on her page. If she found your site offensive, it would be appropriate to tell you somehow, not insult someone in plain sight.

But of course she didn't like it, but we all continued, which is mean, and it's not good to stoop to lame people's level.

I didn't think the blacker than black post was so nasty, it was disgusting, yes, but you see plenty of that from your readers.

WV: even good hearts just grow

Satan said...

Yeah, the only thing I owe Q is an apology for continuing with it when she freaked about it. She obviously doesn't have a sense of humour though. WOB thought the Blacker than black post was the most disgusting thing she had ever read... then I showed her married man site. Ii think she's a little worried about my blogging pals and their influence - Thanks Mom (hehehehe).

WV: pick better happy people just today

Diana Crabtree said...

I have not been to married man's site, but when he said "did you molest the little boy in hell and can I have the video" I could tell he wasn't one with "limits." Please do Monica a favor, don't tell any jokes that you think would amuse him at home, LOL

Little iguanas eat vegetarian tacos

Satan said...

Yeah, his humour can be pretty screwed up. I'm sure it's just humour though - he likes shock value. WOB !ahem! has little to no interest in the blogging world. Oh well, you can't have the whole package.

Don't go to Married man site. He's a freak, a lovable freak, but still a freak.

Sooo... how you been lately. Been watching Donnie Darko huh?

WV: oh that's wanker headquarters

Diana Crabtree said...

Wow, WOB has better things to do than sit in front of a computer writing to complete strangers? Poor girl.

The Donnie Darko reference was because that was the weirdest movie I could come up with at the moment.

My life is very good, my roommate is very cool, VERY COOL, and very laid back. I have much less stress than I did early in the month, and I haven't had to work much, since I am on reserve (I bid wrong this month) My mood isn't improving with my lifestyle I am afraid, but I just have to be grateful that my life is good.

How is your life going? What's new?

Rotini noodle vats lack nourishment

Satan said...

What? Did I offend you by asking how you've been?

quality art paper scissors get more costly

Diana Crabtree said...

How dare you! First you pretend to be a bunny, which was REALLY offensive, then you ask me how I am? HOW DARE YOU!

did easter fairies always eat quail soup?

Satan said...

WOB thinks she does, but she's wrong!

Does that mean you're not earning much money being on reserve. (I don't understand the whole bid thing). Lucky you ave a new roomie who is cool and can help with the rent : )

Tis a shame about the mood thing, what do ya think is keeping it low?

New things in my life, hmmmm, I'm moving to a new house in a couple of weeks. It's soooo cute. High ceilings, wooden floor boards, air con, huge backyard, you name it it's got it. Time for a little room away from WOB's family worries. Shmae WOB's not coming with me ; )

Satan said...


Diana Crabtree said...

Yeah you are right, I wont be making much. I am on reserve because I got cocky and only bid 5 lines (I am supposed to bit 16) because for the last 6 months I got my first choice, but it's my fault so I have to live with it.

The mood thing is probably chemical, and I think some residual disappointment about the dating stuff. I was thinking about it yesterday and I think it is natural that I would feel this way, I put my heart on the line, 3 times in one month (you can't forget the buddhist boy) and the disappointments compounded some irrational feelings I have about men and relationships. In the end I think I learned necessary stuff from it, but I do sort of wish I didn't put myself out there yet since I was doing so well beforehand.

Congrats on the house! Rent or owned? I am happy you can get away from the fam stuff. Whats the joke about WOB not coming?

x-ray junky zoos need heavier stones

Satan said...

Whoops, that's a bitch, I hope you make sure to bid properly next time, you gotta take care of yourself babe!

So, nothing has actually changed from before the dates except your perception. I think a little angst is worth the experience. Well, except for maybe the rushing it thing. But that brings us back to the walking on eggshells and not wanting to disappoint. Try focussing your energy on solving that one issue rather than beating yourself up over poor man choice. Cause not every man you meet is going to be right for you and you can't chage that, better to put energy into things that you might be able to change. My 2 cents.

With owned property being full it's gotta be a rental, it's awesome though.

What? Didn't I tell you she's totally ditching me for her Mum...

HA! Just jokes, she's coming too. It's been a joke lately that she spends more time with her Mum than me.

zap little zebras very quickly ok

Satan said...

What have I done to piss you off now???

Diana Crabtree said...

I like your 2 cents, I will read it again later when I am more receptive. (less defensive) I think my dwelling on it is less about my poor man choice and more of about the resulting events of the poor man choice and my eggshell walking. Indeed I need to focus on fixing that, but I am not that far along yet, I'm not yet able to acknowledge it happened (I still feel nauseous thinking about it) Oh well Blech! too serious! No need to respond to this, I appreciate your input and I will, as I said, revisit it later.

I think it's great that you are moving. I think it will be healthy to have seperate zones, your family (the two of you) and the rest of the family. It's a nice bonus that it's such a great place!

Maybe if you want more attention from WOB you should wear an apron, bake cookies and mention regularly that you remember back when she was "this big"

Zebra's green kites open against wind

Satan said...

I'm glad you liked it even if it's not what you want to hear at the moment.

Now, I'm sure I've told you WOB's Mum is one of the most self centred people on earth. There's no wy she'd wear an apron, bake cookies or comment on child hood memories... none of that's about her!

I can't wait for the move, if I have to hear her say her day was 'boring' in that accusatory tone to WOB again, as if it's WOB's fault for not supplying some form of entertainment (like gambling), I'm going to slap her silly. She doesn't want to make her life better. Only WOB's and mine as miserable as hers. Yes, YES, the space will be great. A phone call before dropping in will be bliss!

Diana Crabtree said...

UH! I am SOOOO glad that WOB is on board with it too, can you imagine how hard it would be if you saw the woman you love being picked on like that and she wanted to stay and deal with it!

I bet it will feel like a honeymoon once you move :)

I will re-word what I said earlier. Maybe if you want more attention from her you should give her guilt trips and screw around with her money! God that sucks, I am so glad you are getting out of there! Is it the first of the month?

Diana Crabtree said...

I work tomorrow, and I have all of my laundry done now. I am SOOOO glad to hear your awesome news :) Makes me feel cheery by-proxy :)

Satan said...

Now that sounds more like it. WOB is a pretty strong character, she'd have to be putting up iwth me ; ). She knows, now, how to stick up for herself. And, nobody screws with WOB's money and lives to tell the tale. But that's a whole other story.

Don't use the H word, ewwwwwww, it implies marriage. *vomit*

The move is on the 26th.

WV: your right over family violations

Satan said...

Woo-Hoo, all your laundry done. You are doing OK!

Diana Crabtree said...

Well the laundry being done is my cue to go to bed so off I go.

Nighty night, I am glad to hear about your good news :)

AND...I stand by the H word, if you think marriage is an outdated institution then the word honeymoon has no important value, and can be used in a case like this. The whole point is it makes everything feel new and fresh :P


Satan said...

Night A

I've got work to do as well. Been procrastinating on editting a friends video.

Speaking of new and fresh - Sleep well.

Take Care


Diana Crabtree said...