Thursday, November 24, 2005

Thanksgiving

I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. Why? Probably because of the difficult day I had to look forward to: I have to lounge around with my beloved family and eat tons of delicious food that I didn't even have to cook. With a difficult day like that to look forward to who WOULD be able to get out of bed?

One thing I am thankful for is I am aware that I am depressed. I am aware that even if I had a million dollars, a perfect husband and the ideal job, I would still feel depressed. I am thankful that I am aware that it is an incorrect perception brought on by incomplete neural interactions, and not a flaw in my character. I am also thankful that I have discovered something that is able to transform my mood, even when it is dark, when I read or listen to Buddhist teachings I feel like I can see a path out of this annoying cycle, I know I will still need medication and therapy, but I feel hope that my misery will not forever feel helpless, and instead that I will be able to transform it into compassion and happiness.

I am thankful that even though I feel miserable, I am able to see past the misery and be aware that my life is wonderful, full of wonderful people, full of wonderful experiences. And even if I don't feel it, I am thankful to know that I am a very fortunate person.

mood: a little flat, but I feel clear-headed at least

5 comments:

The Blind-Winger Jones said...

That's a very wise post. Thank you !

It is very hard to see the positives at times. I struggled on and off with depression for years, and despite all the good things my partner and others would tell that I had, I just couldn't see it. It's learning to celebrate the small pleasures I've found that all add. Simple things like my dog trying to lick my face because he's pleased to see me, or making the perfect cup of tea.

Martyn

The Blind-Winger Jones said...

Apologies..I've managed to miss out a couple of words at key points in that. It's a bad habit of mine ! Hopefully it still makes sense.

Satan said...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

*Mwwwwwaaaaaaaahhhhh*

Atomic Bombshell said...

Now if you can find all those things to be thankful for, I'm not sure if it really counts as depressed. Good work, lady! XOXOXOXOX and Happy T-Day.

Diana Crabtree said...

Thanks Martyn,

Even with a word or two missing I appreciate the comment ;) I hope you have many of those simple pleasures :)

Happy Thanksgiving Satan :) Thanks for celebrating even if you arent American.

Aurora- Thanks, Happy Thanksgiving :)