I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. Why? Probably because of the difficult day I had to look forward to: I have to lounge around with my beloved family and eat tons of delicious food that I didn't even have to cook. With a difficult day like that to look forward to who WOULD be able to get out of bed?
One thing I am thankful for is I am aware that I am depressed. I am aware that even if I had a million dollars, a perfect husband and the ideal job, I would still feel depressed. I am thankful that I am aware that it is an incorrect perception brought on by incomplete neural interactions, and not a flaw in my character. I am also thankful that I have discovered something that is able to transform my mood, even when it is dark, when I read or listen to Buddhist teachings I feel like I can see a path out of this annoying cycle, I know I will still need medication and therapy, but I feel hope that my misery will not forever feel helpless, and instead that I will be able to transform it into compassion and happiness.
I am thankful that even though I feel miserable, I am able to see past the misery and be aware that my life is wonderful, full of wonderful people, full of wonderful experiences. And even if I don't feel it, I am thankful to know that I am a very fortunate person.
mood: a little flat, but I feel clear-headed at least