I just got back from a psychiatrist appointment. I showed the doctor the fog post, to show that even with my depression improved the anxiety is severe enough that I am only able to survive, and survival alone is not motivation enough for me to keep on going.
He initialy began suggesting a benzodiazapine, since I had such success on ativan, but my job drug tests for benzodiazapines, as they do shorten your reaction time, so those are out. I am terrified of addiction, so I am not TOO upset about not having that option.
He had two other ideas, one a blood pressure medication, another an anti-psychotic medication. I told him to skip the anti-psychotic because I have no problem with reading peoples minds. I didn't really say that. He told me that this medication had been studied in doses of 10 and 16 mg, for psychotic situatuations, but in doses of .25 and .50 it has worked very well for people with anxiety. I chose the anti-psychotic called Risperdal (Risperdone) becuase it had less side effects than the blood pressure medicine. A bonus is to hear it has effects in only a few days!
My hopes are up.