Emma has been a true asshole to me. Unbelievably. I have spent the last few days just shaking my head at how snotty and judgmental she has been, not to mention unpleasant, and that I put up with it, I should have called her on so much, instead I dealt with it, "for peace".
This last week, now that she is leaving, we have both been very nice. Not kiss-ass fake nice but real nice. She even smiled at me this morning (it threw me off!) We just weren't meant to be. I am glad she is moving, but today, seeing that most of her stuff is gone, I have seen that there are things I will miss.
Could I do things differently so she wouldn't move? Probably not, I didn't even suggest it. She had a negative image of me that did not match reality, and over time I just conceded that no matter what I do she wont perceive me any differently, so I just quit caring. When I knew something bothered her that didn't bother me, I couldn't muster the energy to change it. I had things that were so much more important to me to change, so if there was no reward (i.e. a roommate who emotes) then emotionally I could feel no point of going through the difficult process of changing a habit that didn't bother me (BTW the habit is not drying off enough in the shower-there were other minor things too, but nothing that she wasn't almost as bad about)
Now that she is leaving I can actually like her. 3 days ago I was sure we would never speak again, now I am open to it (assuming that she can muster up more than one word answers to my "obvious trying to start a conversation" questions)
I think the core of all of it is this- I have loud energy, she has quiet energy. My big energy overwhelmed her, she was a bitch in order to punish me for it, I was a bitch in order to punish her for punishing me. Lather, rinse, repeat.
And now I get to live with my clone, which means I will live with another loud energy person. This will be different, different challenges & different rewards. Tera and I went to Ikea yesterday after she seemed very not at home at the thrift store. She was gushing over everything, at Ikea, very enthused about home improvement ideas. She wore Chanel sunglasses. Emma was wrong to judge me for wanting nice things? Emma was wrong to poo-poo home improvement plans that would require nothing of her? Now I have my chance to practice what I preach.
mood: Happy (for myself, and Emma)