Wednesday, April 02, 2008

WOW! Did I click send?!?

I am not going to make it very long like this, this "saturday only" communication thing. I like you more each time I see you, and this last time especially. To be apart for 7 days feels very lonely. Especially after being intimate, I actually feel sort-of used, I don't think you used me, but that is how I feel.
I realize that you havent asked for a commitment, but I never could agree to one in the future if this is how things would be. My heart can't take it. I for sure don't want to have sex either if it would be like this. I would spend the week feeling broken hearted.
I am thinking maybe you don't want someone serious in your life right now. Or maybe you don't want me in a serious way in your life right now. That is fine. Like you said in your craigslist ad, there are no guaruntees, and hurting people is not your intention. It would probably hurt less, or the same, as it feels right now.
You ignore a girl, you dont keep her. I swear its mother nature or something. Charles would probably be an American citizen right now, even with the bad skills. But he ignored me. He NEGLECTED me.
I ask for SO LITTLE from a man. If he can't meet the few expectations I have, then I do neither of us any favors by keeping him around. I will only resent him, then we will both be miserable.
I cant explain the ache in my chest right now. I am falling for him so hard, and I cant take it to only communicate on Saturdays
I almost feel like it has gone too far already. I am pissed, and my heart is closing up to protect itself. Charles broke my heart. I still havent recovered from that. Mike could hurt me 10 times as hard, because I see 10 times the potential as I had with Charles. I really REALLY like him

No comments: