Thursday, April 03, 2008

Imagine this was your week

Saturday you lay in a man's arms, and look in his eyes, and feel a connection that you may have never felt in your life.

The next day you are glowing. But each day after that you get sadder, and sadder, because you dont hear from him, by phone, e-mail, or text message. You start flirting for hours on IM with a musician in Canada to fill the void.

On wed, after signing off with Canada-man, you realize that what you want is to hear from your guy. You see he has been looking at your myspace, but you have no direct attention from him. You write him an e-mail, telling him that only communicating on saturdays makes you feel sad. His response is "can we call this off?"

You write back "yes, I am glad we are, because I don't want to get hurt, and I can I have stronger feelings for you than you do for me" and he writes back "I'm exasperated. You make it sound like a competition."

The next day (today) he calls and wants to get together for coffee saturday. You tell him you need a month or so before you are ready to be friends. He sends a number of persistant e-mails about meeting saturday, and you get a twinge of hope that he may talk you out of the break-up. But then he sends a text saying "I just don't want you to be sad"- he doesn't want you back, he wants to clear his concience of the guilt of breaking your heart. You write back that "no one is wrong, we just want different things" and he finally says "okay, call me when you are ready"

On your myspace yesterday you manipulatively posted that you are having a bad day, knowing he looks at it. You are hoping that he will know he matters to you, because you wonder if he is pushing away out of insecurity. Mo writes you. The sweetie. And so does THE HOTTEST PILOT IN THE WORLD who also happens to be drunk, asks for your "fone number" and you chat with him for an hour.

This pilot, who can best be described as a Ken doll, tells you a number of times (with the disclaimer that he is in love with someone else so he is not hitting on you) that he is really attracted to you, and that you are an amazing person, and many other flattering things.

So yes, that was my week (so far...whats next?)

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