Saturday, September 29, 2007

I feel sick about it

Twice I have forgotten my passport, and I have forgotten my ID badge before. All very important things you must have, and it reflects very poorly on me to not have them.

Well today I forgot my badge again. My gut told me I was better off saying I was sick than admitting to forgetting it. I feel like I am in less trouble that way, and I don't have to face delayed passengers, but I hate doing it.

I sincerely feel sick. I guess I always do. But the anxiety of lying makes me feel even sicker, and ruins the fun of a day (or more) off. And I have to come up with a good strategy- do I call in again tomorrow, to make it look like a more genuine illness?, (and to not have to work 6 consecutive days) or do I go back tomorrow, and suggest maybe I had eaten a bad breakfast (which prevents the suggestion of going to the doctor)

The funniest part of all of this is I made extra sure that I had my passport. DUH!

I hope I keep my job

UPDATE: The anxiety put me dead to sleep. I slept between 10:30AM and 3:45PM. I dreamt that I was in a gym glass, (although I am 30) and they wanted us to get into groups of 4. I was having a difficult time getting into a group because they kept shifting around, and I found myself getting resentful, I felt that at 30 years old this was undignified, and I walked out. I was wearing no pants or socks, and it was snowy outside, but I only lived 2 blocks from home.

As dreams do I was in a car, then not, and I ended up getting really far from my house. At one point there was a van, and I walked through the van to cross the street. I asked the people in the van if they would take me the last two blocks, and instead they took me really far to a trailer park that they were all staying in. They were fans of a band and follwed the band around the country. Some of the people loved me, one in particular hated me. After awhile the one who didn't like me invited me to leave, and I did, and myself and a few others got robbed before we even were out of the trailer park!

When I finally got out of the trailer park I was very happy, but of course I got lost again. I saw a girl slouching and frowning, and I said "hey, smile!" and when she stood up straight and smiled she kept falling over. Dreams are weird. I think I woke up before getting home.

I'm not as anxious now I guess. But I think I should probably try to go to work tomorrow, if lying makes me this anxious.

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