Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Poor me- I don't think I need to lose weight

I have lost a good 16 pounds with weight watchers. Not only have I lost weight from my healthier eating and moving more, my depression has improved immensely. But heres the problem, since I went from 210 to 185 in a couple of months, I think I look damn good. I don't feel like I am fat anymore. Poor me.

I figured out the key to losing weight, you have to want to lose weight more then you want the behaviors that keep you fat. I wanted to lose weight so much that I was willing to record everything I ate, eat less and healthier foods, and exercise more. But here is the problem now, I dont care if I lose weight right now, so I am not recording what I eat, and therefore I am sure I am eating more, and less healthily.

One strategy I could employ is that I stay with Weight watchers, but just make my goal to maintian my weight. That is sortof what I am doing now, but I am not doing much to keep my focus. Another strategy is to quit weight watchers, and work to maintain my weight. This would save me $40 a month, but I might be more likely to put weight back on. The last strategy is to stay in weight watchers and care about losing weight again, but how? I DONT want to try to feel bad about myself again, I like looking in the mirror and seeing a pretty girl looking back, why would I want to change my opinion about that?

I know that I still have too much fat on my body. It is hard on the body to have too much fat, and it is VERY bad for my depression! It makes me feel more tired, and energy is very hard to come by when you have depression, and the foods that lead to being overweight also contribute to depression (fat & sugar.) Perhaps depression should be my motivator for weight loss, that if I lose weight I will be less depressed. But even that is difficult, since I am not feeling very depressed lately!

Of problems to have, feeling like I am attractive, and not feeling depressed are pretty good, but I deserve to be as healthy as I can be! Just because my depresson is in remission doesn't mean that it wont return as the unhealthy behaviors return.

UPDATE----

I went to my weight watchers meeting today, I gained 2 & 1/2 lbs in a week! I DO need to go to the meetings, and I DO need to work towards losing more- If I don't- I will gain it all back!!! I think my motivation may be back- I sure hope so!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Diana!
have you read French Women Don't Get Fat! by Mireille Guiliano?..it has been out awhile. Her focus is eating for pleasure...and incorporating *tricks* to lose the fat w/o the torture or depravation! Check it out...I think you'll love it!;)

Diana Crabtree said...

I actually have that book. I will look at it again (I bought it when it came out)- it would fit in to Weight Watchers very well.

Thanks for the advice :) :)

KansasSunflower said...

How do you get to where you feel like you've lost enough weight? Where you can look in the mirror and see that you've even lost it? I don't know how to do that, and I *so* wish I had your confidence and that ability. I've gone from 175.5 (digital scale) to 130, and I still look fat and feel huge. I don't know how to change it?

Congrats to you - that's so awesome, and so much harder to do than people even KNOW! I'm sure you look BEAUTIFUL!