Monday, March 03, 2008

I don't want to workout, instead I want to eat.

I want to eat chocolate and something with cheese on it.

What is the deal? This isn't me! When I was eating well I felt better and had more energy, and working out makes you want to workout more, but I just cant get my momentum going!

I guess this is the trick. I am aware that I want to sit around and eat instead of working out, and I am also aware that if I push past this laziness, inertia will set in.

The worst thing is, at this weight when I see things like the "Coyote Ugly" reality show contest, or anything else with the hot bitches, I really recognize that that isn't me anymore. Those days were great, combining my confidence today with my body back then, I would be so happy. Back then all I felt I had going for me was my looks. Now I know who I am and what I want, but getting what I want man wise, isn't as easy as I would like. It's not that guys dont find me attractive, it's that I don't feel attractive, and I am not as willing to take risks. And I am not as turned on during sex. But who really needs sex anyway, when there is trail mix?

I guess I am glad I don't look like I did when I was younger, it weeds out the assholes. Come to think about it, when I dated Charles I lost a lot of weight. I didn't have to worry about meeting someone who would like me conditionally, so I felt confident enough to lose the weight. (He was even a little disappointed :) )

I can do this. I will do this. I just need to start. I am intimidated because in the running clinic I am supposed to be running 9 run/1 walk intervals, and that just sounds like so much to do alone.

I can do it

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